• This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by Lisa.
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    • #127044


      I managed to get out and I am currently staying with the family. He knows where I am and he knows I will never live with him again. I’m really keen to apply for divorce. Couple of times when I mentioned it, he said he would sign papers. We have got a young son together. He said he hasn’t got money to give me towards the divorce. And I was wondering whether it would be better to use a solicitor? Or to just apply online (which is obviously a cheaper option). Any advice is very much appreciated.

    • #127049

      Well done for getting out.

      f you’re divorcing an abuser then use a solicitor. Otherwise he’ll have the shirt off your back.

      He doesn’t get to decide if he can afford child maintenance, the courts do that if necessary.

      The starting point is a 50/50 split of any wealth acquired since you started living together. That includes a 50/50 split of pensions.

      Then they take into account financial needs (e.g you may both need a 2 bedroom house. Then they look at your ability to get and pay a mortgage. If one of you earns significantly less than the other, then the lower earner should get a larger share than 50%.

      I’m not sure about maintenance but I’m sure he can’t just wriggle out of financial support unless you go for a clean break, in which case your share of the settlement will increase to take account of your extra costs.

      Solicitors are expensive but usually the only option if you want a fair deal from an abusive partner.

      Good luck.

    • #127051

      Most solicitors offer free legal advice so I’d visit a couple and talk to them. Where a child is involved it’s more complicated and you can bet he will make things difficult. Don’t believe a word he says.

    • #127057
      Main Moderator

      Hi Cornflower123,

      A good place to start would probably be with your local domestic abuse service. They should be able to give you some ongoing practical and emotional support with everything and may also have access to legal advice. If they don’t have access to legal advice directly, they should know of solicitors in the area who have a good understanding around the dynamics of domestic abuse. Details of your nearest service can be found here.
      Additionally, if you are in need of free legal advice you could contact Rights of Women. They are a voluntary organisation that offer free confidential legal advice over the phone. The Family law advice line offers advice on DV & abuse, divorce and civil partnership dissolution, relationship breakdown, issues relating to children.
      I hope this is helpful.
      All the best,


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