Do I press charges

[Honeydew]

I’ve only been physically hurt once and I called the police. There were a lot of events that lead up to that moment and when it happened I rang the police and he was arrested not seen him since. I’m at the point where I have to decide whether to press charges or not (because it’s not been a constant thing it was more emotional/financial ) I torn what to do as want things to be amicable for the kids and don’t want him to lose job or anything because of something that was a one off. (I realise if I hadn’t have called it could have happened again,thankfully won’t find out) life is more relaxed with him out of the house so he’s not coming back just don’t know what to do.

[Marmalade]

Hi Honeydew This is a really personal decision and will depend on your individual circumstances. People can press charges because the assault was serious, because there is a risk of a repeat,  to show the abuser they can’t get away with it, to protect other women, to keep the abuser away from them and many other reasons. If you go ahead then you need to be prepared to give a statement and, if necessary, appear in court to give evidence and be cross examined. If the case is serious and he pleads not guilty then there may be a long delay before trial. If it is less serious and he pleads guilty in the magistrates court then it may be over quicker and you would not need to attend, but would still need to give a statement in writing and an impact statement on the effect on you.

There are also other factors that may influence you. Things like does he financially support his kids and if he lost his job would that mean financial difficulties for you. Also any other personal circumstances or how the kids would be affected.

So it’s a v personal decision

Also the CPS may decide to proceed or not depending on the amount of evidence. Lots of ladies on this forum have been surprised and upset when no charges are proceeded with. So don’t rely on it getting to trial unless there is lots of evidence.

Good luck. It’s a difficult decision.

[minimeerkat]

as marmalade has said this is both a difficult & personal decision

are you in touch with your local da service at all & therefore able to talk it through with them – exploring all your thoughts & feelings about this

hopefully when you are able to talk about this with people who are experienced in domestic abuse it will help you make a decision that is right for you & your family x

[Honeydew]

Thanks for your responses. (detail removed by Moderator). He’s stopped paying already so know I’ll be alright. There’s a 10 week wait for the isva so only got online help things at the moment but it’s finding/making time to look at it

[Author]

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