Do I read it or just forward unread to lawyer

[iwillbeok]

Hi, I haven’t been on here for a while, life chugging along..

I received the most gut-wrenching reply to my divorce petition and thanks to all of you who replied to my post about it – with your help and my other supports I picked myself back up again and was that bit stronger again.

I have now received out of the blue an email from him. I saw it and couldn’t even open it. From what I did see he is proposing a now amicable divorce. It knocked the wind out of me I must say and I just slammed the app shut.

Question is: do I read it and forward to my lawyer or forward it unread? I had and have no intention (regardless of what it says) to reply to him directly.

Opinions?

Ta iwillbeok
xx

[maddog]

My husband’s first attempt to get rid of me consisted of a letter threatening a non-mol and occupation order stating that I had to leave my home within a week. I didn’t read the letter for a long time. The first person to read it was my IDVA, then my solicitor. My husband was badgering me to read it going on and on about it. He intended to frighten me.

I would forward it straight to my lawyer unless you think there may be anything you need to act on. But then your lawyer will tell you.

My husband stormed out today in a whirl of hatred and vitriol. He said he’d be back later. Last night I called the police because he stormed off and I was frightened of what he might do. The police arrived in force. It’s quite confusing when that happens.

[iwillbeok]

Hi Maddog and thank you for replying. Yes it can be quite overwhelming when the police descend! I can recall feeling so relieved when I eventually called them. I’m sorry that you had to put up with the vitriol and drama from your husband. Sending you hugs and strength.

Xx

[maddog]

Thank you, iwillbeok. You are kind.
I think you are on the right track to question whether or not you should read this correspondence. It is like taking a sip of the old poison. You probably know how it will make you feel.

I have a dear friend who is still being financially bullied after more than a decade by her ex. It is terrifying.

[iwillbeok]

Maddog, poison is the right word!

Given the disguating lies he wrote on his response to the divorce petition (painting himself as the victim and me as the abuser) which made me feel sick to my stomach and worried that I would hit rockbottom (losing all the progress that I had made in my healing); I don’t want to read him playing the “I’m being reasonable so I couldn’t possibly be that bad” act.

I didn’t hit rock bottom again. I didn’t crumble. I used his words to add further proof to myself that I was right, that I could believe in truth and myself.

I am somewhat curious to see, however, how he might manage to contradict his statement. That could be interesting reading, I’d like a good bit of karma to trip him up…

Iwillbeok

[maddog]

If you think that the content of this message will affect you in any way, it retains the poison. I have many letters from my dad when he was being abusive which I have not read. Maybe one day. That day has not come and may not come at all.
Lawyers do their job and do not become emotionally involved, and we are left with the repercussions.

I think you are being tempted into an emotional battle. Perhaps you can read it later when you are really safe. Or not at all. It is not your problem.

[Author]

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