Do police arrest on 3rd party report?

[Anonymous]

Please please please does anyone have experience of going home from refuge. If u left refuge to go home and refuge called police with safety concerns, did police arrest your husband or partner or did they just do a welfare check on u?

I’m sorry for posting another thread. Things have really spiralled and I need to leave refuge and go home. Need to be gone by next week but want to go sooner asap. I really really can’t cope in emergency housing. Too scared. I haven’t coped in refuge so definitely won’t cope in that and I don’t want to catch corona. Pointless anyway cos only temporary. I think I’ve already had corona but wasn’t tested so don’t kno. My ex isn’t at home but refuge said they’ll call police with safety concerns if I go back. There’s no children and it’s just me. If police called, I could end up homeless and Shelter warned me worse case is I’ll end up being taken away by police when evicted. I’ve betrayed my ex by leaving him but even if he really is an abuser, it’s me that will end up being taken by police. Feel so stupid and scared.

Just want to cry and cry and never wake up. Please don’t say to stay at refuge. I can’t. They want me to go and have said so. I want to go too. Something happened and someone really let me down then something else bad happened and it’s all really horrible. Feels like no end nightmare. I miss my home so much. It felt safe. I’m so scared and want to keep safe but don’t kno how to.

[KIP.]

If your ex isn’t at home can you get an occupation order to keep him out? That way you can return to your home but he can’t? The police can only act if there’s evidence to act upon. And if there’s evidence for them to act upon there should be evidence to have him removed from the home

[KIP.]

I was trauma bonded to my home. There was nothing safe about my home when he was there yet I just couldn’t leave my home, my safe place. So I know how you’re feeling and staying in my home and having him removed was the answer for me.

[Anonymous]

That’s how I feel. Like it’s my safe space but it’s not. I can’t stay long-term but I’m not coping in refuge. He’s not there anymore and can’t get occupation order cos of various things. Thank u for suggesting xx

I’m going to risk going back. Hopefully police wont arrest and just check on me. Things really awful. Don’t kno if I’m allowed to say what’s happening but it’s awful and someone’s lying but trying to say it’s my mental health. I want to explain cos it’s killing me not having anyone to talk to about this but I’ll have to keep quiet. Keep my head down until can get out. I’m freaked out by what’s happened. I don’t kno if I’ll get thru much more of all this but I hope having freedom at home will help me if I get a chance. I feel so heartbroken for leaving the one person I could trust. I want to leave now but need to arrange transport. I’m scared I’ve made everything worse by leaving. Someone has done something horrible here and I don’t want to cause trouble or make a fuss. Definitely don’t want to complain or anything but scared it’s messed up my chances of being safe.

[KIP.]

Hey try to remember that the one person you cannot trust is your abuser. It’s a trick of the mind, keep your phone on you fully charged at all times x if you do return ring 999 if you feel scared. He will punish you for leaving and you won’t see it coming x

[gettingtired]

Sorry I don’t have any advice about this @Fluffyclouds but I am sending you a virtual hug 💞 I hope you’re ok x

[Anonymous]

Thank u for caring xx

He’s left so it’s safe. I kno it can’t happen but keep feeling I need him. After this week. I feel really alone. This week was so horrible. Desperate for him to comfort me. I want a hug and someone to turn to.

I feel kind of violated. I trusted someone. Told them a lot about the abuse and other things about my life. Now I feel bad and guilty. I felt I needed control over my life back. My ex became very controlling.

When someone keeps doing the things u tell them scare or upset u, it feels like they see u as a worthless person or a monster. Then they get offended and angry and upset when u try again to speak about it. I’m scared Im a bad person.

Then cos they keep doing it, u get really distressed and triggered and frightened. Then they say it’s ur mental health like ur lying about everything and how u feel doesn’t matter. I don’t want to be bad about anybody. Having stupid thoughts it’s deliberate to upset me. I kno they probably just not understanding or forgot but it keeps happening. Frightened I’ll make a panic decision. Got thru so much and don’t want to mess up at this stage. I wish it wasn’t so hard.

[Anonymous]

Thank u. That’s so lovely of u, gettingtired. Everyone here really understands I think. I wish we all didn’t knk what it’s like cos it’s so horrible to go thru. I hope u are ok? Sending u a big virtual hug back 💞. I kno how hard weekends with abuser can get X

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