Do things get better?

[standtogether]

Hi ladies,

I know this is probably a question we’ve al asked but I just wanted some reassurance I think. Does the fog ever clear? Will I ever get to the point where I believe truly how he treated me and stop blaming myself?

I miss him and I miss our family so much. He had moved on now and it hurts to think he is doing all the things with her that I do desperately longed for for so long. I know this will be short lived and I do feel for her in the future when he gets bored but it still hurts.

I have been having some lovely times with my daughter this week and it made me so happy but it also made me wish we could share it together. But I also know this would never have happened with him because he never wanted to spend time with us. I’m sorry I think I’m just finding the idea of getting over all he did and parenting alone from now on hard.

He still sees our daughter every (removed by moderator) but I have had little contact for a few weeks which has been good. But I feel like I’ll never be rid of him and him playing with my head.

I’m sorry I know this is all probably really unanswerable and everyone is going through so much. Some days just feel like I’m so stuck in sinking mud and the constant questioning myself I can’t help but think he was right. That I just like drama in my life and to make things hard and I’m too sensitive.

Big love to all of you going through all that you are.xxxx

[fizzylem]

I remember feeling this, a sadness when we were on holiday or times that were joyful, like he’s missing out, she’s missing out, the family is lost to us all, but eventually I realised if he was here there probably wouldnt be as many joyful moments because it was always about him, catering for him, it was often like having another child to accomodate, to try and keep happy – perhaps more than any other family member, and I lost count of the times I felt hurt and alone when he didnt want to participate in family things together. He never placed much value on family – not in the way I do.

You’re right to think the new relationship will wear – and then she’s left with him – the person you used to experience – the life you used to have – no fun is it. Get the life you want and this will fade into insignificance.

It does get better for sure. Clarity will arrive and will never leave once it does. Keep reading, learning, processing and developing self awareness. I’m years out and dont miss him at all these days, and its been a long time since I did. I’m more struck these days that I was ever with him – its so obvious to me now that he is what he is, a selfish, cold and callous man – not someone I would ever choose to be friends with; not my kind of person at all, no kindness, no generosity, ignorant, out for himself and screw everyone else – thing is, this wasnt hidden from me, it slipped out here and there right from the begining, the things he’d say about others, the things he didnt do for others, the way he treated his family and friends, the way he viewed the world – but I glazed over this and told myself he does have a heart really, everyone does right? Nope, he did not. I got caught up in ‘feeling wanted’ by him, never felt that before, hooked me in, but I can see now that could have been anyone really.

The more distance and less contact you have will help x

[standtogether]

Hi Fizzylem,

I wanted to say thank you for your reply. It meant a lot and it did reassure me that I’m not alone and thanks for sharing your story it really helped.x

[fizzylem]

Aww bless you, thanks, glad it helped a little. To solidarity hey! You have opened the door to the possibilities now and the life you really want – which is really exciting! You just need to shake the last of him off now, attend to your loss and heal a bit, and you’ll be feeling a new you – promise; make sure you’re pulling in all your support x

[standtogether]

Thank you, that’s a lovely thing to read tonight, been a tough day so I’ve just treated myself to a nice bath and now an early night. Here’s to a peaceful and carefree weekend for all of us!x

[diymum@1]

I can say too this does get better it’s natural to grieve 😘 we all want a happy stable life for our kids. With am abusive man this can never be no matter what we do they won’t change the behaviour is engrained. See this through everything comes to an end ie this pain. It gets better it can be resolved and we’re all right beside you to help ❤️Xx

[standtogether]

❤️ thank you! What a group of strong women this forum is filled with, it fills me with so much love to see everyone supporting each other like this.x

[diymum@1]

You are one of us and your stronger than you know 😘😊

[Author]

Posts