Documenting Evidence – how do you do it?

[iliketea]

Hi, can anyone give me any guidance on documenting evidence for Getting Out. I have a diary from a year and a half, sometimes a page long for one day, sometimes more, I have emails I’ve sent myself, and also recordings. The solicitor is having time off as she’s had a bereavement so I can’t speak to her. I don’t know how to transcribe the evidence. I don’t know if I do it all? Have you done it? And how do you do it? Write out every conversation, all the detail. He said, I said? My problem is its pretty much every day, sometimes petty stuff, but constant, do I write it all? I’ve been told they don’t listen to recordings so you have to transcribe them instead? I’m doing a timeline too. Is that right? When you write it out you can see the Red Flags. Its a depressing process and really hard to do it. Some evenings I have to stop as the recordings are too much to listen to.
And then I think I should do the latest stuff too but I’m getting amnesia in the evenings and cant seem to remember. He’s onto me making recordings and accuses me everytime I pick up my phone, are there any good apps anyone can recommend I can use without him knowing?
Thank you. I’m not sure what I’d do without this site, i’ve recently had a bad experience on Mumsnet, this seems like good sensible advice from kind sensible people, without agendas, just kindness. Thank you. xx

[Iwantmeback]

You’ve got your evidence documented already. There are templates online to help move that evidence into the factual realm. You’ve said it yourself in your post, the abuse was pretty much every day, state if it was physical,manipulative,threatening. The only people who get what you’ve gone through and are going through are us and people who help us. There’s far too many opinionated people on other forums, some sadly are well meaning but unless they’ve gone through it they can’t get it. They don’t get the indidiousness, how you never saw it coming 😔 there’s also those who’ve come through but are so angry, that they are just as verbally abusive.
Ive diaries covering decades, there’s no way I could document it. If you have to write something in your own words stick to the facts,include visits to doctors who you’ve opened up to. He said/she said, judges don’t want to hear that. The facts are he behaved criminally too you. Check out the coercive abuse act 2015. Look up what your human rights are and see what ones he’s tried to or did stop you having. Maybe include testimonials from friends and family. I think it’s too big a task to do at the moment, with no communication between you and your lawyer. Do what you can do even if that’s jyst lying on the couch watching c****y tv, which lets be honest is awful, then again many of us don’t normally watch daytime tv so are seeing first hand how dire that is🙄.
Keep posting, be kind to yourself, there’s no time scale on the other side,just know that every day you’re getting stronger and stronger.
Much love IWMB

[fizzylem]

It’s too much isn’t it. I got like you, that there is so much evidence how do I pull it all together, and what do I use. It filled my head, you simply can not hold it all in your mind – leads to overload.

I made an evidence file, so that I could see and pull out what I need quickly.

Just make sure you have the prof evidence, this is what holds the most weight. So, the GP support, maybe your medical record if this helps – you ordered this? Any agencies that have been involved. WA, you can request the notes from any conversations you have had. Police reports; any agencies that have been involved.

It is your solictors role to help you gather what you will need here really; I would ask if there is anyone else covering for her while she is away that can help here.

Because you aren’t going to need most of your evidence, only some of it. Better to give some examples, not produce all of it. I found they don’t actually like ‘loads’ of evidence. Too much to read, so it needs to be selective and relevant.

I made sure my statement was evidenced, so anything I said was backed up with evidence. I also pulled out evidence to debunk things he had said, learnt pretty quickly how to identify what I could ignore, ‘his vile and warped view’ – is only this, and this is also how the court views it. Your solictor will know what bits you need to respond to.

So, I started with my statement and went from there, but do not worry if you can’t back up some of what you say. Write it freely then see how your evidence can support what you have said.

This should all come after you have decided how to build your case though yes, after taking the advice from the solicitor; I found that what I wanted to say and what I wanted to happen was actually not permitted fully, not what the court could do, so you need to know how the court can help here first, what can be done here and what can’t, ‘the process’, so what’s required for each step and to build your case for this.

Maybe ask for a new solictor? As you can’t be left without for too long really x

[HopeLifeJoy]

I haven’t used it myself but Onrecord is an evidence gathering app created by legal and medical professionals generating charts displaying records of threats, controlling behaviour, communication, contact arrangements and of course time & dates to help prepare your case.
Have a look at below website for more info about the app. It isn’t free though, only the first five records as trial period but it can give you an idea how to create your own filing system.

ONRECORD | Evidence Gathering App

CPS website is packed with detailed information on how to best approach a controlling and coercive case.
Read the entire page through for guidance, see your case through their lenses, ask your solicitor (or contact Right of Women) and yourself about the result you wish to obtain, assess if it’s realistic and work back from there. Focus on his heaviest crimes and drill it to the maximum.
https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/controlling-or-coercive-behaviour-intimate-or-family-relationship

You can find the original Act CPS is referring to under at legislation.go.uk
Serious Crime Act 2015, section 76
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2015/9/section/76

I have had less than satisfactory experiences on another support site too, where safety, anonymity and transparency wasn’t a priority as it is here, where my ex unfortunately found me and stalked me.
Here you will find the support you’re looking for, you are dealing with domestic abuse therefore are in exactly the right place. You are protected, safe, anonymous and supported with kindness.
💕🌸

[iliketea]

Thanks so much for all this information. HopeLifeJoy, amazing, thats the first time Ive seen the CPS advice and that really helps with the context.
FizzyLem – amazing too.
IWMB – thanks for your kind support too.
Its been a difficult day and a half and this is the first time ive been able to sit down and read these through. For now, I just wanted to thank you, really, thank you. This is a lifeline.
xx

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