This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Camel 2 weeks, 6 days ago.

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  • #113380
     Lostandaloneeee 
    Participant

    Haven’t been on in a while. Didn’t think he would, but the ex did get back in contact. Seemed a bit different this time than before. He seemed different.
    I didn’t take him back. I’m still moving forward. He does want to go back, but I am not the same person any more.
    He has started counselling and I wondered if anyone has had any experience where behaviour has improved through counselling? I’m not looking for a reason to take him back. I don’t even feel the same way about him as I thought I did. I’m just interested and I guess concerned about my contact with him and with his future potential partners.
    Thanks for reading and stay safe x

  • #113390
     Camel 
    Participant

    Hello

    How completely arrogant of him to contact you, tell you about his counselling, inform you that he wants to try again.

    Just when you’re getting yourself together, here he is, forcing himself back in, all entitled, making you listen.

    You’re right to be concerned about resuming contact with him. I wonder why you mention contact with future partners though? Do you have children with him? Is there any reason why women in his life would need to speak to you?

    Go zero contact from now on. You don’t have to make a big statement, just stop answering his calls and reading his emails. See whether his behaviour changes when he gets no response. Note whether he gets angry, abusive, threatening.

    From what I’ve read, counselling for abusers is rarely effective. And for sure, it’s not working in his case. No counsellor would allow contact with the victim. Nor would they allow the abuser to suggest they’re ‘cured’ after a few sessions. Counselling is a process, not a bargaining chip.

    Get this man out of your life, once and for all x

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