29th April 2016 at 10:57 am #15806martian29Participant
I woke up this morning after dreaming of him with an intense feeling of grief.
In the dream, we were young again and I had that feeling of such love and hope for the future. I was saying how much I loved him but then he started packing his things and said he didn’t love me anymore or our sons. The dream was jumbled as our sons were as they are now. In the dream we were all sobbing hysterically but he just looked at us so coldly and callously as he walked out the door.
I feel he really has eliminated us out of his life and is living a carefree life with his new supply enjoying himself with her with the money he stole from me and my family over the years.
29th April 2016 at 4:11 pm #15835Twisted SisterParticipant
Sorry to hear you have had such an emotional experience from your dream, but it actually sounds quite like a ‘closure’ type of dream; seeing him for who he is and experiencing the loss that you are now, which is all normal.
I don’t know how long out you are, sorry, but i still have dreams every night to varying degrees so i wouldn’t think its in any way unusual for you to have the odd one here and there still?
take care and hope you can see this dream as an optimistic sign?
warmest wishes KS xx
29th April 2016 at 7:46 pm #15847AyannaParticipant
I have flashbacks. Last night I was about to sleep and then I had a flashback. I jumped out of the bed and ran to the backdoor in panic. My heart rate must have been over 200. It was horrible. I could not sleep for a long time after that.
29th April 2016 at 9:40 pm #15856Peaceful PigParticipant
I still dream of mine despite having left over two years ago, but they have gradually changed from being violent to sexual to loving, nice dreams and finally to him being less present, smaller and less important. My mind is continuing to process it all and start to let go. For a long while whatever I dreamt about he was always just there hanging around in the background. I thought he’d never go away, but he nearly has.
My flashbacks are mostly from early childhood now. As you say Ayanna, it’s often just as I am falling to sleep. I’ve just remembered I had a particularly scary one last night but seem to have blocked the details again which is frustrating. My mind can’t seem to decide if I’m ready to know things or not.
I think it’s a positive sign of progress on the whole xx
29th April 2016 at 10:34 pm #15864HealthyarchiveBlocked
I have dreams every night of different men that I have been with in the past, its very strange, all of the men have meant something, most have been abusive. X
29th April 2016 at 11:20 pm #15873TurquoiseFairyParticipant
I still have dreams (detail removed by Moderator) years on and despite him now being dead. I dream he’s come back and he won’t leave despite having a new wife. It usually ends with me getting assertive and saying that he has to go and kicking him out. I don’t know if they will ever stop!
1st May 2016 at 7:05 pm #16024rebornParticipant
Hi I am about (detail removed by Moderator) years out of my abusive relationship. Those dreams really are the devil. Yes I still dream about my ex. We are young, very much in love and all those feeling resurface again. Then I wake up feeling devastated. It is like mourning the death of my relationship all over again. It knocks me for six for at least a couple of days. I still love the person he was many years ago. I do not love the person he became.
The only way I can get through those dreams is to turn the situation around. I ask myself a series of questions eg
Does he love me ……no
Does he think about me …….no
Did he ever think about my needs ……no
Did he ever love me…….. questionable
Does he love his kids…… no
The list goes on and on . I find this helps me get through those difficult dreams.
I hope you can eventually find closure and are not troubled by those dreams. X
1st May 2016 at 8:07 pm #16029HealthyarchiveBlocked
I think dreams may be a type of mental health cleansing. My dreams normally happen when i’m stressed, since my split I have dreamt every night of him and my ex partners and the dreams are very vivid. Sometimes they give me food for thought, how to make my life better. X
1st May 2016 at 11:35 pm #16057Confused123Participant
IM (detail removed by moderator) momths out and if im triggered off he will come in my dreams leaving me really stress out after, again i think our brain is just processing it all
2nd May 2016 at 9:16 am #16082White RoseParticipant
I dream too. Usually wake up in a cold sweat heart racing and feeling him pressing against me. Then I feel relief when i know he’s not there. the frequency of these are getting less but the associated anxiety is still as intense!
I dream about other things in my past too happy and sad. I’m not sure I dream of him any more than I dream of other things it’s just I don’t necessarily mind the other dreams quite as much xxxx
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