Does anyone feel like this?

[Lightning-Jet]

I don’t know why I feel this way, but I can’t stand the sight of my husband, but then it bothers me the thought of him jumping from our bed into someone else’s.

I know he is talking to other women – even though he maintains its nothing more than friends. So why does it bother me?

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Lightening-jet, it’s good to hear from you. I couldn’t stand the sight of my oh near the end, the ugliness within him was eventually all I saw on the exterior. I’m not sure how I’d feel about him seeing other women. I thought I’d be fine with it, I’m more angry that he says he loves me, he needs me back, yet I’ve been checking his history on the tablet and it tells me a different story.(I’ve NEVER checked up on him before, trusted him completely to not cheat on me or maybe i didn’t really care after all) Porn sites he’s visited, some are just terrible, then a few days ago there were messages from a dating site(I think)) when I clicked on it, it deleted it, so I never really got to check properly. But it wasn’t fb, messenger of anything like that! It’s niggling at me, but it’s opened my eyes yet again to just how much these men will lie and to also how they really can’t live without a woman in their lives. They are pathetic creatures, needy and draining, utter emotional vampires.
Oh that feels better for writing it down, keeping these thoughts in definately does us no favours. It’s not that I’ve been having thoughts of returning but I have been spending time with him. I don’t feel as free, as light as I was. I feel more tense, sicky, headaches just there but not quite, haven’t felt like that in a while🙄
I’d think being discarded fir someone else would hurt us, it’s our ego that’s hurt more than anything I’d say. As I said I think I’m okay with it, at the end of the day that would definately keep me away, After everything he’s done, am I wavering, am I looking fir my get out of jail card again? I don’t want him realising what I know until I have total proof. Which really shouldn’t make a blind bit of difference but it matters to ME, not him.
Best wishes IWMB 💕💕

[Fudgecake]

I’m sorry you found those messages IWMB but knowledge is a powerful thing. It means you can watch him and his duplicity while he tries to hoover you back all the while messaging others thinking you don’t know. See him for what he is and that for him to change is unlikely.

[Lightning-Jet]

Thank you both, everything he does seems to annoy me these days and I struggle to see any good. I’m tired of the games, the control.

My health is suffering for sure. I have to be up early to get everything ready and to look after the dogs before work. He lies in bed until its time to leave. Listing everything that he expects to be done to make sure it has been done.
But at night, I’m not allowed to go to bed until he is ready to go. This can be very late, but he still gets 8 hours in bed, whereas I get 6. But in the past when I have gone up to bed regardless, he has then followed and continue verbally abusing me.

Any tips on how to stand my ground and tell him that I am going to bed and to stop him from following and continuing to verbally abuse me?

Thank you x

[HopeLifeJoy]

Hi Lightning-Jet

I’m so sorry he is controlling your every move and decision and abusing in such nasty way, it is infuriating to read tbh. You’ll have to remove yourself or him from this situation totally, there is no in between way where he magically won’t follow you to abuse you. He will always abuse you, this is what he does.
You’ll have to separate, move out from the house or have him moved out.
You are already taking a big first step towards standing up for yourself by being aware of how he is treating you and wanting to stop it.

Could you call Women’s aid and ask for advice? They can guide you with your next steps and support you with practical advice.

For a short term solution to catch up on your sleep, I would pack a bag with essentials and sleep over at a friends house or family. Don’t ask him permission, just make the arrangements and go. You don’t owe him anything.

Sending you strength & keep posting

[Author]

Posts