Does it get any easier?

[Itwastimetostopit]

It’s been a little while since it ended. But just feel like waiting for the next thing he will do.

I’m maintaining no contact which is helping. Some days I do feel confident and relaxed. I just feel like waiting for fall.

He’s using other means to get to me emotionally. It worked this week I broke down as soon as I saw something he intended for me to see. Can’t put into details on here.
But I can see what he’s doing but it still hurts.

Some days I dread going out in case I bump into him.
He’s got a nasty mouth.

[KIP.]

Yes I promise it gets easier. Time and zero contact. I took back control which empowered me and gave me some confidence back. I reported him. You might want to consider a non molestation order for your own safety. They are pathetic individuals who need attention and thrive off our distress so give him no direct reaction. Ring Rights for Women for free legal advice.

[survivorandproud]

I was in a similar situation and still am with my ex. The best thing you can do is keep 0 contact. Or possibly report it to the police, usually this scares them away as they never want to push anything that could lead to a prosecution, as they mostly do all the abuse behind closed doors. Keep your head up and keep yourself motivated!! Things will get better

[freedomtochoose]

Would second that yes, it does get easier.
For me however it has been helpful to accept that sometimes it might feel like a
three steps forward two steps back – thing.

Accepting this means that I don’t panic so much when I get down days iykwim.
hug
ftc
x

[itwillbeokay]

I wonder this all the time too. Hardest thing I’ve ever done by far and hardest time of my life. And I’ve been through almost (Detail removed by Moderator) of fertility treatment. That doesn’t touch the sides of the emotional trauma of this in my opinion.

I hope it gets easier. This forum and people on it help so much. If you haven’t been through it (and I found this with IVF too) you can’t even begin to understand the details and psychology so it can be very isolating and overwhelming. I think what keeps me going is I do know (really, mostly, sometimes, all the time, maybe?!) that it is absolutely the right thing to have done. It just doesn’t seem to remove the sadness. At what should’ve been.

Xx

[Itwastimetostopit]

I will proceed with a non molestation order if need.

The emotional turbulence is surreal sometimes.
And guilt still tries to sneak in.

Thank you for your replies. This forum is providing support thank you

[itwillbeokay]

I feel horrible guilt most of the time. He says things to make me feel guilty. No acknowledgement or responsibility for why I have left and taken our children, none and atall. I’m the bad person, he is the victim. A string of angry messages last night because I let him know my parents are taking me and the children on a short break this week. Blaming other people for the situation etc.

It’s really difficult to deal with or even know what to say because there’s no reasoning so what’s the point of trying to justify my actions. But it does make me wonder what really goes on in their head because I’m absolutely confused. Clearly he thinks I deserve nothing more than to put up with his treatment of me.

x

[HopeLifeJoy]

A while back someone in the forum posted something from Lundy Bandcroft
(link removed by Moderator)
I found it a very interesting read, about the abusers beliefs. His beliefs and values are so dysfunctional, it’s astonishing and sad.
When conversing with them, it’s like trying to have a conversation with a bottle of poison. The only thing coming out of it is poison. There is no point and it’s dangerous.

[Author]

Posts