Does it get easier?

[Sunflowersunshine]

I have a new partner, and it’s a really wonderful relationship. I was even surprised that I was comfortable with intimacy with him so effortlessly. And it’s amazing. Sex where it’s consensual is blissful. But things come up and I’m triggered sometimes during and I wish I could make that stop. His response is always wonderful and kind. But I feel like a failure. Also I can’t touch him. Again he’s wonderful and understanding and kind. But I feel so useless. Does that ever stop?

[Lisa]

Hello Sunflowersunshine,

I’m sorry to hear what you are going through at the moment.
It sounds like you have understandably been traumatised by previous experiences and it can be difficult to come to terms with, and begin to recover from abuse without professional support.

It’s good to hear that your current partner is understanding, but it might be helpful to talk it through with someone outside the relationship, who has experience in supporting women who have been through similar.

Rape Crisis could be a good resource for you, as well as The Counselling Directory.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Ariadne]

Hi, Sunflowersunshine

I am a bit in the same boat as in there are aspects of my previous abusive relationship that have definitely influenced my ability to be comfortable in more intimate situations. I feel that while I have met a really kind and patient person since that relationship ended, I still had some blockages that were keeping me from really “letting go” in the relationship.
I don’t know if it ever stops, but I have found that it has not been a straightforward thing. Like it has come and gone, or had better days and worse ones, like the healing process overall.
But I’d be curious to know others’ responses, and I echo Lisa’s comment that seeking other types of support and therapy might help!

Take care <3

[Author]

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