Doesn’t she act strangely, poor thing she has mental health problems

[Anonymous]

Yes so true, Yes I do, Yes I admit it, I’m not ashamed of it either, I do not scare easily, believe me I don’t! I am actually relieved I have mental health problems or I would like to change the wording somewhat “Mental” perhaps to the average non understanding person, that would imply crazy, paranoid, delusional, n****r. How naive some people are. I would like to re name Mental Health as “6th sense” That to me is what you develop as the result of serious abuse, Severe anxiety, depression, ptsd, cptsd, social anxiety, fears & avoidance. This post is about the blessing of having your very own, built in 6th sense, The one that should be added to medical journals. I do not scare easily, I have lived years at the hands & mindset of a serious psychological abuser, Who radiated his warped sense of self onto me. His shadow followed me everywhere, I didn’t know if it was his shadow or my own! I managed to escape, was absolutely horrified to feel still tangled up in his web, to feel that, that person was still in my mind, still in the shadow everywhere I went. I could hear him in others words, in others actions, my sixth sense screamed out RUN! yet I felt frozen to the spot, my legs felt like jelly, every nerve in my body felt on Hugh alert, my body so tense, so on the 6th sense mode. My safety network. Not as the result of I’m crazy, I’m mental or Anxiety is a “what if” illness. I know the what ifs because I heard his words “Put the fn scarers on her” “She will fn well learn what she has done wrong” “The problem with you is that you do not fn listen, & you do not do as you are told” “Your problem is you are too strong minded, it is fn well always about your feelings” with that in mind Feelings my 6th sense mental illness, you are not allowed to have feelings, at all, don’t cry, don’t be happy, don’t show fear, don’t hurt, don’t tell anyone how you feel. 6th sense will tell you exactly why you do know better than anyone else, because it has happened to you, but don’t tell anyone about your 6th sense, keep that information to yourself. Your safety net, it will tell you all you need to know about others words, body language, trick questions, prying into your personal life, Sussing out your vulnerabilities, working out what makes you tick, working out to any would be abuser that you are indeed vulnerable. I know I my hands shake, I know I get alarmed easily now, I do know why too, I have every right to be scared and I have had many years experience of being seriously abused, I’m not mental or delusional and I am not paranoid either. I have massive trust issues, My walls are so high, you would need an extendable ladder to climb them. I won’t let you into my life very easily because I have learnt the most valuable lessons of my life. I speak the truth about things going back to my childhood that some people can’t handle hearing, I am told to not speak of his abuse that re traumatised every single thing that has happened to me. But when I am told I am Mental or that I have mental health problems, that I act strangely NO it’s my 6th sense! Does anyone actually think I would willingly allow anyone to tell me I am abnormal now because I have a 6th sense, I am a very deep person, with deep understanding about the world around me and the people in it too. Before him the abuser who put me into a major breakdown I was so strong, have coped with major traumatic events in my life, But him!!!! Even him, who put me and my son through years of mental torture, I still said sorry to him, even was so scared when he found out the truth about why I left, got away, I was so terrified I said sorry I lied about you!!!! It was exactly like I was back to what happened in my childhood “You do not tell anyone because if you do you know that it will just get worse” I did not lie about the abuse, it was as serious as I stated but as the abuser is such a professional manipulator, He will convince everyone that he is normal!!!! My mental health – 6th sense, Is there for a reason, I am not having any professional tell me I have whatever mental illness, I know I don’t, I have severe anxiety, depression and ptsd. I have genuine real and not made up fears about the perpetrators threats, I am scared of strangers because “He knew people who could do the damage” How ridiculous it is that professional people have seen me, heard me say “The danger of the stranger” Oh so that makes me have some mental illness! I heard voices, this is some sick cruel joke, I did, half asleep half awake, woken from deep sleep Utter complete panic HIM A STRANGER omg sure I heard him, more ptsd/cotsd re living recalling. Voices in my head I said once!!! Never had before never had since. Except His horrible voice Vile recollections of his rantings “You wouldn’t fn well manage on your own would you” I don’t here voices telling me to do things what a ridiculous thing to have presumed by ant GP or psychologist! I would love to make an official complaint to the health authorities but not sure how to do this, I am 100% sure that certain things were handled very unprofessionaly. I also feel 100% sure that they were not specialists in Dv/abuse personally feel they did not listen, chose to disbelieve on many levels and that included the police who made the entire situation massively worse!! I 100% know what I went through with him, my son and other people did too. I did not get it wrong. When I speak about 6th sense now, I am not some super hero with magical powers, how ridiculous a statement. I thank goodness have the intelligence to have read about how abusers work, have experienced it first hand, I know what it is like to live in extreme fear, I do now understand RED FLAGS. It is our human right to have a 6th sense, To be on guard, to protect ourselves, to tell professionals what exactly the perpetrator did. He was making threats to have people killed, have them brain damaged for life, Have their feet broken so they would never walk again. He was a pathological gambler, he did have 2 immediate relatives with schizophrenia (both decead) I was with him a very long time, he showed very strong signs of schizophrenia too, having spent time on a mental health ward, which I am certain the GP saw as a further punishment to me after the perpetrator had instilled such fear in me that I was finding myself saying I lied it was not DVabuse 200% it was, but spending time with patients with Schizophrenia and other mental health illness, I could not be anymore certain that my perpetrator had a s****o illness. Then the professionals try to turn all that crazyness onto the victim!!! Disgusting this kind of thing happens, absolutely disgusting. Ladies if you too have a 6th sense, hold onto it very tightly, you all know the truth about what these abusers do, you all know how seriously they affect our mental health, our physical health too. Please can someone help us all to heal and allow us to speak from experience, for those who would like to volunteer once we are strong enough, please train us to volunteer to help other women. That is my goal, my aim, my purpose in life, something that will make me feel worthy, something that I would like to do. Prove to everyone that this should not be happening, women and children should not be suffering at the hands of these perpetrators or anyone out there who thinks it us ok to tell any victim that in their opinion it was not abuse. Truly I don’t know alot about what any one has been through personally but what I do know is, my perpetrator bought vile memories back to me that I’d got over. Every angle of his abuse, he knew exactly how to scare me to death, to a point I wanted to commit suicide, for that I feel ashamed because I lovey adult children with all my heart. But that is what he drove me too, plus family and close friends and professionals reading the while situation wrongly. I have so far saved 2 lives in my life. I have spent relentless nights talking to others, hearing their dreadful experiences in life, comforting them, preventing them from committing suicide. It is about time the world woke up, these people have been through horrendous times, no one should be ignored when faced with tragedy, huge losses. Surely there must be thousands of people out there who would be prepared to offer voluntarily help, if only to listen, to offer emotuonl support, I know I would once filly recovered, which at this stage I’m not sure I’ll ever trust again or ever be anxiety free. But I live in hope and I will keep my mental health 6th sense xx

[Serenity]

Hi Blueberry,

I had an interview very recently for a role volunteering a couple of hours as week (removed by moderator).

You’re right, people need non-judgemental people who have been through difficulties themselves to
offer support.

I couldn’t have done it an earlier than this- I wasn’t in the right place- and I
still won’t be doing it for another few months.

When the time is right, I am sure you will be able to use your experiences for a good cause in the public arena. x

[Anonymous]

Hi Serenity I just feel even more so that since being able to open up on here that others who have experienced it truly understand each other. Well done for volunteering that is a massive achievement. I wouldn’t be anywhere near ready yet as still suffering badly with anxiety and flashbacks. I was speaking to a professional and they said I may not ever completely lose the anxiety, or ever forget all that’s happened but I can learn to cope with it better. That will be a blessing xx

[Author]

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