Don’t know how much more I can take

[Denise]

Things are so difficult with him at the moment. He just can’t be nice to me and all he wants is control over me. He left me early this year. I have drunk to cope with the hurt over the years, but I decided to go into rehab for alcohol and sleeping tablet addiction. As soon as I went into rehab, he decided to come home and wanted me to leave rehab but I would’nt. It was something I needed to do for me and since leaving I have stayed sober. But it is so hard to stay sober with how he treats me. He has cheated, been physically abusive and emotionally abusive. He has no longer been physically abusive since I called the police and he was arrested, spent the night in a cell, cautioned and had his shot gun and licence taken away. But the emotional abuse, control and witholding money from me continues. If I had some control over our finances, I feel I would have more confidence to leave him and control of my life. All I do is dream about what life could be !

[Footballfan1]

Hi Denise,

Well done getting help overcoming your addictions, and staying strong when your partner tried to get you to leave rehab.

Have you contacted any services yet like domestic abuse helpline, victim support help line?

Do you have anyone you can confide in and trust?

You recognise the abuse which is an important step.

Try to safely research any help you can get, and how to keep yourself healthy, physically and mentally.

No one is the same, it’s hard to offer advice when everyone’s situations are so different.
I think you are able to contact the womans aid advisers directly, and they can offer specific advice.
Stay strong, you need to understand how strong you are to have completed the rehab successfully, you are anazing. Keep posting. XX

[Denise]

Hi Footballfan1,

Thank you so much for your support and advice. Although my situation has been going on for decades, it is only now that I have reached out for help.

Will seek further advice from advisers, as you suggest.

Denise x

[Footballfan1]

Hi Denise,

I was in my abusive relationship for decades too.
It’s so hard to leave.
Look up trauma bonding, that helped me understand my thoughts and feelings.

[Footballfan1]

Also, I’ve read 2 books, Living with the dominator by Pat Craven, and why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft.

I didn’t read these until my relationship ended, but they can be read whilst you are still in the relationship.

[Author]

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