Its not pathetic. Its what happens when we have (unavoidable in your case) contact with them. The same happens to me. You wouldn’t believe how triggered I get just passing him in the car and I might not even see him but the sight of his car triggers me no end. The feelings come flooding back after the glimpse of his car. The feelings are overwhelming after the sighting of his car and for that day. Gradually day by day they subside until I’m feeling a bit better. But for the whole week I could be put off- balance in my mind (thoughts on him) and my emotions.
And that’s just seeing his car! not him as he has black-out windows on the car.
As LONC said your not pathetic, until the house sales I’m stuck with my abuser. But I work my life that I am not in while he is, over the weekend end I caught a glimpse on him he look a mess as my stomach turned upside down.
But even so I will fight it because given have the chance he will destroy me. I know he doesn’t know what compassion love or understanding for another human being it.
Also part of the way they control us is by making us feel incapable of surviving with out them. I wasn’t aloud to cook clean etc for decades (because I was c**p at it) guess what I’m still breathing so the cooking can’t be to bad.
You, I and every lady on this site deserve much better than we’ve had. So stay strong there’s a bright future for you.