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    • #123741
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Sorry i keep posting, I dont have any friends only a couple of people I talk to. Struggling again today 🙁 keep thinking when is life going to go back to normal but I dont know what normal is anymore. I met my husband when I was young and spent a long time with him, 3 kids together. We’re not together anymore I recently got him to move out hut he is still calling everyday, threatening to come to our house if I dont pick up and talk to him so maybe he still has some control.
      I just cant seem to be able to move on, what is normal?? My normal for the past (detail removed by moderator) has been trying to make him happy.
      Had a terrible morning with my kids swearing at me – which is what he taught them to d so I should give them leeway its my fault for staying woithbhim for so long that is why they are behaving like it. But I dont I get angry 🙁 its like he never left, my (detail removed by moderator) telling me to (detail removed by moderator) exactly what he used to say to me and things I’m doing is not quite right – I’m not folding her clothes correctly, anything goes wrong and its my fault.
      I’m trying to discipline her but she doesn’t care, will quite happily go to her room. She is used to physical punishment from him and I dont want to be physical.
      Just feel like ive left it too late, my own kids disrespect me terribly and its because I’ve allowed it by being with him.
      Just hd enough of today already

    • #123742
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      My (detail removed by moderator) year old is who he would always blame if there was any kind of fight with my other children. My eldest couldnt do anythknv wrong inbhis eyes. Smy (detail removed by moderator) year old was quite often in trouble more then the others and she is ultimately the reason why I got out the relationship, he and getting more physical towards her because she would hit him. Its such a mess , I cant say I’m the perfect parent either because I’m not.
      A few weeks before the end of the relationship she threw something at me and it hit me in the face – I thought she had broken my nose. And all he did was say I deserved it and I was crying like a baby, but at the same time saying he would beat her if she did it to him 🙁
      He has thrown things at me and ive thrown them back at him and the kids saw it so their behaviour is all taught and my fault I dont know what to do now, if they can ever just be children again.

    • #123743
      Lottieblue
      Participant

      Hi there,
      I’m so sorry, it sounds like a really c****y situation. My instinctive reaction is that daughters can be tricky anyway – well, all kids can, we know that!
      You are right not to get physical, but she is going to go on pushing you, just to challenge you. There are two things you must make clear: firstly that you love her, no matter what, and secondly what your boundaries are. She will push and push, simply because she wants to discover how much you care. Stand firm and it will pass.
      Sorry, this doesn’t help with your husband, but please don’t despair about the kids’ behaviour. You are doing a really great job and I’m sure they will calm down once they realise that you’re not giving up on them.

      Stay strong x*x

      • #123744
        Anonymous
        Inactive

        Thank you @LottieBlue i do tell them I love them so much just finding it really hard at the moment. I guess I thought things would instantly be better and its not xx

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