- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 11 months ago by Chickadee.
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8th May 2018 at 2:12 pm #58173VelvetParticipant
Ive been suffering with mental and emotional abuse for years. But only realised in last 2 years. I told him I wanted a divorce (Detail removed by moderator). Hes been delaying all the time. Mediation is done but his solicitor has taken (Detail removed by moderator) months to do a draft consent order and my solicitor still doesn’t have it. Crux of it is hes an abusive n********t and I’ve come to the end of my tether. Emotional and physical wreck. Got psoriasis now which I never had before. Major depression and anxiety. Every weekend his abusive behaviour is getting worse and I still don’t have a date for him to leave. ITs been (Detail removed by moderator). Cant take any more. Saw my DV support worker this morning who mentioned refuge. I just don’t know what to do. Do I upheave my son and make his life worse just to make my own better. I’m falling apart and don’t know where to turn or what to do anymore. My house is a complete ….hole and I cant cope. x
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8th May 2018 at 3:55 pm #58175freedomtochooseBlocked
Yes. go to refuge.
you will feel better. you can sort all else out later.
all best
ftc
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8th May 2018 at 4:33 pm #58176KIP.Participant
Tell your solicitor to put a time limit on any correspondence. He has one week to provide the draft consent order or you will go to court and have the court do it. It’s impossible living with an abuser. They enjoy making our lives hell. He will be taking pleasure in watching you suffer. I would go to the refuge until things are sorted and you have your own place. It cannot be any worse than what you are going through just now. Any contact with these men is toxic. His abuse will escalate as he loses control. Mine ended in an assault and the police becoming involved.
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17th May 2018 at 10:54 pm #58558AyannaParticipant
Call the police and tell them you are scared.
If you can call them silently when he shouts so that they can hear it.
That will support an occupation order to get him out of the house.
You do not need mediation when you are abused.
Say everywhere that you suffer from severe abuse and that you need immediate help for your child and yourself to get him out of your lives.
Have you handed in the divorce petition?
You can apply for the divorce yourself. State that your relationship is broken for more than two years, that you are in danger, that you suffer from severe abuse.He cannot delay the divorce for more than two years, then you can have the divorce without his consent.
It is important that you keep telling the family court that you suffer from abuse and that you want a life free from any form of abuse for your child and yourself and that they must not delay the divorce.
The more they have this in writing the better. -
18th May 2018 at 8:38 am #58570ChickadeeParticipant
Velvet.
Have your solicitor put turn around time limits on anything.
The anxiety, misery, that you are experiencing are from the stress and control. It can process into physical ailments such as the psoriasis, yes, but even worse. Try B Complex Vitamins, naturl nerve relaxant. If you like teas, herbal teas are great, mint works wonders for me.
I understand your at the end of your tether. Many of us relate to exactly where you are.
Your not just doing what is better for your health, if he is doing this to you, trust us that he is doing it to your child too!
Get the help you need to get out of the abuse.
We are here for you when you need to talk. Hugs.
Chickadee
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