• This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by Iwon.
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    • #57744
      Iwon
      Participant

      Having bad memories come up this week. Even (detail removed by moderator) years on. It’s a few mot the after we separated. He is on the phone screaming everyone said your a disgrace for getting into a new relationship so quickly after our desperation. You sl@@t.

      What sort of wife does that??? The girl who never spoke back anymore said…. the sort of wives who finds out her husband has been going to gay male saunas all through her courtship. The sort of wife who finds out her husband slept with someone when she was (detail removed by moderator)  pregnant just after I list my son.

      He changed the subject and started attacking me over something else….. talk about double standards. For once I started to laugh

    • #57866
      Chickadee
      Participant

      Wow, that sounds familiar, mine was cheating and bringing her into the house when my kids were present, I was away with my oldest daughter. Going on dates while we were still together with my kids along. I did not know this and actually put it together til after the kids and I were gone.

      I had the same thing dished out to me way after I left and we were legally separated. Of course, while we were together I was constantly accused of cheating, accusations, because he was the one actually doing it.

      Yep, they don’t know what to do when you call them on their lies. LOL.

    • #57885
      KIP.
      Participant

      Wow chickadee. Mine was cheating. Even took her away for the weekend while we were together. Even told our son but told him not to tell me as I’d be upset! How despicable. They are disgusting liars and cheats. It really is one rule for them and a different rule for us. When I found out and confronted him his answer was that he had tried to tell me four or five times but I just wouldn’t listen. So it was my fault he was cheating on me. Don’t waste time trying to rationalise these men. They are pure evil and have zero empathy. Just be thankful we are out of their grasp x

    • #57890
      SunshineRainflower
      Participant

      Yes I find the double standards they have are really quite incredible, it’s hard to believe how they justify their thoughts in their heads. Iwon I think my ex was also possibly sleeping with men as well as women behind my back, from things he said and evidence I found. He used to repeat these ‘stories’ apparently about mysterious friends I never met such as two men who used to sleep with eachother behind their girlfriends backs, I’m pretty sure he was talking about himself and telling me to get a kick out of my reaction. It made me feel so sick and ill when I realised after I left because at the time I was clueless and thought I’d met this lovely guy as he was really good at playing the perfect boyfriend role until the mask started to slip. Make sure you get tested for everything if you haven’t already, I got tested and it wasn’t fun but I feel better now I know I didn’t catch anything from him. He even had the cheek once to imply he thought I had an STD, when the only person I had slept with for years was him as unlike him I am neither promiscuous nor a cheat.

      They really are the lowest of the low, parading around like they are these honourable saints when they get up to all sorts of diabolical things behind our backs. And then like you say, they have the nerve to get angry at us and make out everything is our fault, I have never quite been able to get my head around how they can actually believe their own lies.

    • #57896
      KIP.
      Participant

      They believe their own lies because to admit what they have done would mean admitting they are the s**m of the earth. That will never happen. My ex was faced with a all the evidence against him and he blatantly lied. Everyone knew he was lying but he just carried on. Total denial. No wonder we think we are going mad.

    • #57924
      Iwon
      Participant

      Wow sunshine. That thing about telling stories about some friend I didn’t know going to male saunas and he said he would always call his wife as he got in the car to find out what was for dinner. I realized after he was talking about what he was doing behind my back.

      I have always wondered if he was mentally ill because you would put proof of his stealing or cheating in front of him and I was mad and crazy.

      I think the real lightbulb moment for me was we were (Detail removed by moderator) months ago over something and he wasn’t winning with his son stories and got caught lying (Detail removed by moderator)

      I actually just sat (Detail removed by moderator) thinking my god there is nothing wrong with me apart from the fact I married a very nasty abusive man.

      When I was in it I couldn’t see it but even now (Detail removed by moderator) years after divorce I remember things and then go oh god I just realized that was a lie.

      Thank God I got away as I would have ended up committed

    • #57925
      Iwon
      Participant

      Sunshine you said about him accusing you of giving him a to…. mine told me he had a virus in his back passage and his specialist told him apparently your wife has given you that….. a consultanr I had never met….. even I laughed at that. (Detail removed by moderator). …. thank God I am free now.

      His new gf text me constantly saying you are so jealous I got a prince and he dumped you!!!!

      I never reply but I do think you poor poor girl wait until you are getting tested for sti and he has taken credit cards out in your name.

      To realize it was a (Detail removed by moderator) year lie still shocks me x

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