Doubt…again

[Ocean]

Hello Lovely Ladies,

Again I doubt what has happened and what he is capable of.
Or is it an inability to trust what my mind knows? Or maybe a resistance to accept who he is?
I can’t disclose too much. So I apologise for leaving it vague.
Someone close to him has disclosed to me something he did to them in vivid detail. After hearing the detail I had no doubt in my mind about what he had done. Something terrible, unlawful even. Now, time has passed and I doubt the description. Not that I doubt the person who told me or their honesty. That is not in question. It’s more how I understood their description. I sometimes even think of it as a figment of my imagination. Or maybe I don’t want to accept what happened. Or maybe my mind is used to this routine?
Any success in breaking free from this cycle?
Thank you xx

[Lisa]

Hi Ocean,

Thank you for your post. It is hard to give a definitive answer and this is something for you to work through over time, but your words “maybe I don’t want to accept what happened” are valid. With something so traumatic and distressing we can attempt to protect ourselves from it. Sadly I would suspect that what this person has told you is the horrible truth. You have mentioned Clare’s Law before; perhaps this could help you to gather more information. If you’re not sure, you could anonymously call 101 to ask for them to explain the process.

If you haven’t yet sought out any counselling, now might be the time to consider it, to help you work through the doubts and questions. You could talk to your local domestic abuse service to ask about counselling options or have a look through the Counselling Directory. If you can it’s really helpful to find a counsellor who has a strong understanding of the dynamics of domestic abuse and ideally works with a trauma-informed approach.

Keep Posting,

Lisa

[Ocean]

Hi Lisa,

Thank you. Yes, I believe what the person told me.
I think I will seek counselling again.
I appreciate the information.

Xx

[Author]

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