Doubting

[Texas]

Hi

Is it normal to doubt if you have been in an emotionally abusive relationship, even if independent people tell you otherwise?

I think I am back in denial and wondering if he was not so bad after all and I was the one who was not treating him very well?

[spiritedaway]

I would say seeing how many times I’ve seen it written that it is normal to feel this way. I go from wanting him back to thinking he’s a massive idiot

[Texas]

Thanks

I hate this, the recovery process is possibly one of the worst experiences I have ever had in my life.

[minimeerkat]

absolutely 100% part of the recovery process x

[Texas]

I’ve just been writing in my journal to help. I have observed that whenever he said I has done something wrong, I always apologised and acknowledged his feelings, then tried to put things right. I was always consistently calm and understanding, trying to understand his point of view.

He never did any of the above for me.

I never threatened to end the relationship, actually end the relationship of refuse to speak to him if he did something to upset me.

He did the above to me though.

I feel a bit better now.

[Texas]

Now I know I did my best I am sad that despite me being kind etc., he decided that I deserved this treatment.

When will this emotional rollercoaster end?

[browneyedmum]

Have a read of Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That?” it will help with understanding his mindset.

[spiritedaway]

snap – so much of my energy used to meet his needs, my needs never seemed considered. Yet we’re the ones left in a mess

[Anonymous]

I think we become experts at reading them. So no your not reading him wrong.ypur wants and needs are just as important as his.
They are very clever at making us feel at fault and then we internalize it and blame oureslves.

[Author]

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