doubts at any age

[Jupiter]

I am surprised by my own opinions about people even though I have lived alone a long time now with adult kids.
Sometimes we lower our standards if we feel lonely–always thought I am a good judge of character but now Im not so sure
Recently I have shared a coffee and chat in a local cafe with a guy just for company.Many times I made it clear that it is only a friendship that I dont want a boyfriend.I have had to repeat this again as my words seem to mean little judging by his comments etc.
One day I think he perhaps has a learning difficulty then I decide he is another n********t….
One example is that after stating he is just a pal he wrote a note on our table asking when is he going to get into my underwear….? Other recent comments telling me not to bend over etc etc. Just two examples but I find the behaviour disrespectful especially after being assertive.
Another time weeks ago he soiled my bathroom floor without an apology or attempt to clean it up.To add to the confusion he has also acted as if he is caring and thoughtful. Now I feel foolish and wont allow him in again.
Jupiter

[Ayanna]

I would just block that guy. After what you have been through you deserve noting but bliss in your life. No unnecessary stress with idiots.

[KIP.]

Don’t settle for second best. I agree. Get rid of him. You don’t need friends like that. I’d rather sit in on my own with a box of chocs and a good movie 😃

[Jupiter]

Thank you both of you! Its crazy how we can get confused by something like that—maybe its because we have been abused and are not used to decent treatment. it would have been easier if he had no redeeming qualities.
Yes better to be alone and safe with a treat or two.I have a sweet tooth and ate two packets of marzipan fruits the other evening for comfort! Im sure Im not the only one…
Jupiter

[Ayanna]

I love marzipan. I eat tons of it every year when Lidl sells it in the months before Christmas. 🙂

[Jupiter]

Yes understand–I think marzipan and choc are a girls best friend like the song- Diamonds are forever ..diamonds never lie to me etc. !!

[Serenity]

Oh goodness, you’re worth much more than that.

My ex had filthy manners, and I see that as a sign of a basic and deep lack of respect. A case of, their actions tell you much about their character.

Save yourself for only the best friendships and partners. Your life is precious x

[Jupiter]

Thank you Serenity. Its terrible what we tolerate from some people as survivors. (detail removed by moderator)

Some men see us as sex toys and have one track minds even when you have said no!

You are all right that its better to be without this trash.
Part of the problem in our culture is the access to pornography which these men are addicted to encouraging this type of abusive disrespectful juvenile behaviour. There are hoards of them out there. My old cat was much nicer company and a real gentleman!
Jupiter

[strong soul]

This man is showing all the signs of an abuser. Gaining your trust by being nice and then pushing the boundaries to see how much embarrassing and sexual suggestions he can get away with. Then to soil your bathroom like that, knowing that you will have to clean it up!!!!. Get him out of your life now.

[Author]

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