Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

[Anonymous]

My ex would sometimes seem like the most amazing person, very loving and kind.
And the other side was evil, possibly sadistic. Much of his evil was masked by “love” and “meaning well”.
There was punishment. But it’s not the physical punishment that confuses me. It’s the mind games he played. The way he convinced me that I was bad and didn’t love him enough.
I still wonder if some of it was just my “sick” perspective. But logically I know that much of what he has done was not excusable, and was even criminal.
I have serious concerns for sending my children with him. But I still feel bad and wonder if I’m making the right decision.
Does anyone else struggle like this?

[SeekingPeace]

Hi Ocean

I can really relate to what you are writing!
I also have concerns about my children spending time with their father. I feel guilt too.

In some ways I feel life would be easier if my husband wasn’t in the picture at all. But at the same time, he does have a bond with our children. Apart from that I don’t have any evidence that would hold up in court to stop him having contact with him.

We officially separated quite recently. He’s been seeing the children one day of the weekend the past few weeks. I recently (detail removed by moderator) (he wanted to come round and see the them everyday after work but I said no, and I’ve not allowed him to enter the house since the official separation because I need distance/space from him).

The children love him so much and get really excited every time they see him (which of course is only natural). I know I’m doing the right thing yet I also battle with feelings of guilt that I am denying my children their father by limiting the contact. Hugs to you.

 

 

[Anonymous]

Hi SeekingPeace,

Thank you for your reply. I hope for the best possible outcome for your situation. And that your children will grow in wisdom to understand what has happened.
Well done getting out of the relationship. And great job standing your ground and setting boundaries! It took me a while to do that.

Hugs for you too

[Author]

Posts