Drained

[Ssss]

I feel defeated never felt like this before… Things happened….just plod along and get through it… I feel I Carnt anymore.. Got no more strength.. Or fight… I tried for a long time I was strong..

[lover of no contact]

hi s,

That’s a sure sign we’re dealing with an abuser. We feel drained, weakened and lose our power. The best thing you can do when you’re feeling like that is to do what you’ve just done, reach out for support. Just be very gentle with yourself. Accept these feelings of weakness. We can’t be strong all the time. We do so much as it is. (Abusers are lazy, so we’re left sorting everything out). We are human, we can’t be on top of our game all the time.

I read today that we don’t have to be performing heroic acts everyday, sometimes its enough in a given day to just empty the wastepaper bin or smell a rose.

Your strength is gone and you have been so strong. That’s ok. Lean on our collective strength. We will share our strength and carry you over the next few days. Read the other ladies posts (absorb their strength) and keep posting. Keep close to this Forum for now.

So glad you reached out for help. Abuse is too much for any of us on our own.

Someone once said to me when I was feeling that drained out weakened feeling that comes with dealing with abuse, being strong all the time is not good, we need to let ourselves feel weak and vulnerable sometimes.

Hugsxxx

[Anonymous]

Hi, hold on in there we all have times where we feel like this you can get through it. Sending you hugs.

[Bridget Jones Is Free]

Tonight I am the same. I can’t even sleep, it’s 1.30am.
My husband is reaching the point where he shouts all the time if I speak. I am not allowed emotions, feelings. I must not say a word.
He went past me tonight and knocked me.
I avoided reading his texts today till just now. And once again it’s all my fault, he projects on me.
I feel his violence flares. They are coming.

I know how you feel because I am starting to feel I am going crazy. I am at the opposite spectrum to you for now, I can’t stop doing things and working hard in the house, I fret, I seem out of control while he cares for nothing. Instead of drained, I am hyper.
And at night my head thinks sad things, like what’s the point in anything. I look at my kids and I see no point in my life, despite them. I have lost any sense of normal reality.

I don’t sound helpful to you I am afraid, but I hope you will feel better knowing even late at night someone is there. I know how hard it is to feel the way you do. Despair is terrible. I feel very unhelpful, I am so sorry.

[Serenity]

Hi S,

I have been feeling as you do recently.

I suppose that we go through stages with real troughs being part of it.

Lover of No Contact had put it so very well and in such a comforting way: sometimes it’s enough to just empty a bin of smell a rose. I know part of my feeling at allows is tiredness. I have been spreading myself too thinly. Have you been giving yourself enough rest? Are you allowing yourself to go and do something that would make you feel really calm or empowered?

You’ve done the right thing in posting here.

[Ssss]

Hi and thanks for replies.. Yes l. Of. No.c abusers do drain us. It is hard work coping with them and their games on a daily basis… And talk about lazy.. Coming on here I do feel better yes I do gain strength from other ladies on here…
Thanks for the hugs drama queen I do appreciate them..
And Bridget I hope your husband has stopped being so horrible. Yes I kno what you mean Carnt stop doing things and being hyper.. But whatever you do is never enough….and I kno how you feel you Carnt have an opinion or react as he will get annoyed at that… You said you felt unhelpful.. But by replying has helped me thankyou..
Serenity I am sorry you have been feeling the same… Yes tiredness is a part for me also… I’ve been working lots which in itself is ok…. But then running around when I get home with the kids as now summer hols…..so unfortunately no time for me… As soon as I finish work I’ve got to do all in house and feed kids etc… I work (detail removed by Moderator) hours the minute I walk in he goes to bed…. I have to wash up. Make tea… Buy food always no bread milk etc…like you say lazy….but if I don’t go and get milk say…. He will not and kids will go without… X

[Author]

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