This topic contains 7 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  HopeLifeJoy 2 weeks ago.

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  • #85006
     HunkyDory 
    Participant

    When I was with him and going through the horror, I had a recurring dream. I had a house, and this house had a secret door that led to another house. I hadn’t been in there for years and used to think I’d better go and clean it because it will be dirty. I looked this dream up. Apparently I read that a house in a dream is you. So I had this other part of me (before him) that was locked away and distant. Last night I dreamed of the house again. Before I went through the door I knew it was haunted. I knew bad things would happen in there, that I’d be uncomfortable and scared. I saw this as me going back to the trapped me I was before. Made me feel good and that I’m right not to go back xx

  • #85033
     AlwaysSorry 
    Participant

    Hi HD,

    Sounds like you have really captured what your mind is telling you through your dreams – that you are right to be away from him x I’m glad to read it made you feel good and secure in your decision x Not all dreams are that kind on us, but I think sometimes they tell us exactly what we need to know so we can continue to heal x

  • #85039
     HunkyDory 
    Participant

    Thanks AS, I’ve always had strong dreams, sometimes scarily coming true (once dreamt about being at the funeral of an uncle I’d not seen or thought about for years. Found out later that week he’d died the same night I had my dream.) recently I’ve dreamt about being with my husband in his country and we’re ok but I know I have to tell him we are separating. I always wake up anxious after one like that. Healing is a long process, I wish we could fast forward a bit to better times xx

  • #85256
     HopeLifeJoy 
    Participant

    Sounds like you had strong premonitions through your dreams. Ah yes wouldn’t it be lovely to fast forward to the next chapter already. It’s the slow pace of recovery which I find exuberating. Deep breath. Thank goodness we are not going through this alone.

  • #85278
     HunkyDory 
    Participant

    I always listen to them HLJ, even though it’s not always clear, they usually are telling me something! Fast forward.. actually, not sure I should at my age thinking about it! Made a complete hash of relationships throughout my life and really not fussed if I never have another! The rest of my family married young and all still together and here I am (detail removed by moderator) childless and now single once again! But I’m finding my happy again Xx

  • #85370
     HopeLifeJoy 
    Participant

    Lol you are right, asking for the next chapter wouldn’t be the best indeed, maybe better to wish for some peaceful life then. You seem to look at life with a positive view enjoying your new found freedom and making the most of it. 👍

    Unrelated to abuse I just want to illustrate how age doesn’t interfere with ones new found freedom; my grand-ma lived in a big house and once my grand-pa died instead of collapsing into grief, her new single status rejuvenated her, it was obvious she longed to enjoy her freedom after a life committed to her family, she sold the house, bought an apartment in the city. She made new friends and went to drink tea and eat cake with them. I can’t tell you her age but she was very senior already way passed pension starting age.

    It’s good you can take dreams to mean something, I try to brush them away because they are most of the times nightmares which I want to forget asap.
    I day dreams instead. I have more control over them 😊

    Do you have specific wishes you wish to live? Or are you on a path of discovery? Exploration?

  • #85402
     HunkyDory 
    Participant

    Hi HLJ thank you. Daydreams are good, especially if you have nightmares… specific wishes.. hmm. At the moment I’m just enjoying the mental freedom the meds are giving me 😂 having said that the doc put me on different ones today because I’m still not sleeping. So see how it goes. My mum has Alzheimer’s and Dad is late eighties so I want to be there for them as much as possible. I’m lucky. I’ve travelled, partied, lived in and travelled to some amazing places, but now, I’m happy with a quiet boring life with my cat, pottering about my house. I don’t regret a thing, even the abuse because it’s taught me so much about me and life, as have you ladies. Your gran sounds amazing, so good she took the positives out of the bad times. How are you doing on your journey? Xx

  • #85447
     HopeLifeJoy 
    Participant

    Hope the new meds work out for you.
    Sounds like you lived a full-filling life, how nice and of course now you can sit back satisfied and enjoy the peace and quiet with your little cat. Hope your father still got all his wits so you can share some laughter together 🙂
    I am no where as gracious as you and can’t be but upset about having been abused by this [email protected]/&$:$: sorry
    I am still in recovery phase, going through (a very long) second round of depression and anxiety, it’s exhausting. I follow a therapy and I go swimming so that helps.

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