11th March 2020 at 5:38 am #99081WoollymammalParticipant
It’s 5.27 been up an hour once I wake my mind goes all over the place so I get up.. can’t sleep on sofa as dogs want to come in and sleep with me.. but he said don’t let dogs get on sofa with you..so I don’t, inbetween hearing him snoring upstairs, the fire alarm sensor making noises I just get off sofa and writing this..
The anti physchotic drugs making me restless I think.. oh I wish my head would be quiet, it’s like thousands of people talking to me all at once..
Will this ever end I just want to.jabe some peace and quiet..
You know what I’ve started to do, order clothes and anything else I can.. thing is I don’t even wear them, or want to.. I look at hairstyles trying to get some sort of mojo, but don’t do it..
What van i do , I know now I’m stuck here, and to be honest I’m too scared to go again.. not about him… but scared of the darkness in my brain to be able to start thinking of all that trauma.. and at the same time feeling like I’ve exchanged one prison for another..
I’ve reached out so many times, maybe I’m saying someone please bring my baby back home, Every thing would be ok then..
I miss her so much, I want to hold her in my arms..
Hear her call me mom again..
11th March 2020 at 10:25 am #99096granParticipant
dear woolymammal,i hope somehow you can rest after your bad night, i know how hard it is to live without your child, i don’t know your circumstances but my youngest daughter took her life and i miss her so much, i always refered to her as my baby,we were very close. i found some comfort in writting letters to her and a book ofpoems about her, i hope you are getting all the help and support you deserve, take care, love granxx
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