29th November 2023 at 9:06 pm #163657BlondexxxxParticipant
Hi I’m not sure what I can write without it getting deleted but I don’t know where else to turn for advice..
I find myself writing on here then a year or two later it’s forgotten and I’m back to the start on here again.
Iv been with my partner for years, he gambles a lot and drinks at a weekend. (detail removed by moderator)
The amount he gambles makes me so angry as I literally pay for everything for our son and then he has no money left and is in a bad mood all weekend and then blames me saying it’s because he’s depressed being with me.
Yet he’s been this way since I met him he just chose to hide it well for a while.
We can have so many good days and he will do something like ask me what I want for tea and go to the super market while I’m at work ( it’s so minor but to me that’s all the effort he makes)
I think to myself well least he’s thinking about me
Then something sets him off like he can’t find something and he starts accusing me of stealing it and then the names start – I’m old, I’m ugly, I’m a scrubber I’m a s**g of a tramp.
I work four days a week and I don’t own the house, he owns every house we have been in as his parent bought it him so he’s lucky enough to have no mortgage but not lucky for me as I constantly get told to get out with the kids neerly every week
I have zero money saved for a deposit to buy somewhere and to rent it’s so expensive
(detail removed by moderator)
I ended up getting my own house to rent with the help of my mum and dad but then he wanted me back.
So I left the house and moved in with his mum to save money.
Biggest mistake ever as the arguments got worse and I had no wheee to go once again.
I don’t go out with friends I don’t drink I don’t even have a photo on my instagram as he accuses me all the time of having an affair but I say to him I don’t go anywhere other than work and every weekend I’m with the kids!
He says you don’t have to go out to have an affair!
If I go get my hair done which I go get it blow dried once a week ( I don’t drink or smoke so this is my treat to myself as I have extensions)
If she takes long time I get accused! He won’t talk to me when I get home and I’m forever asking what have I done.
I think I just feel so alone in the situation and trapped! He knows I can’t leave.
(detail removed by moderator)
I had the doctors (detail removed by moderator) as I didn’t feel well I feel like the stress is getting to me and my heart rate is really high, he stayed saying it’s more than a doctor you need your mental !!
I haven’t ever called him horrible names or I don’t drink I don’t be nasty to him and I’m such a good mum and I feel I’m a good partner I don’t see how he has any right to call me but then on my head I’m thinking why is he making me feel so low about myself.
I want to have the strength to just leave and then with it being Christmas it knocks me sick.
He finically gives me nothing I pay for every thing myself but im just not financially able to buy my own house! Or afford to leave .
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I just don’t know how to handle the situation without feeling so sick.
4th December 2023 at 12:56 pm #163801sweet4Participant
I feel sad that no one has replied to you, so i am now, your situation is the same as mine, i havent been on this forum for 2 years, mine has anger issues, hes been telling me for years that he is getting help,hes reared his ugly head again, telling me to get out of my house, your situation is like mine, and they have controlling issues, he knows he has you, right were he wants you, this website really helped me over the years, so keep posting!!!! :))))
4th December 2023 at 8:36 pm #163812DyingonmyfeetParticipant
I am going through this too. First time posting. I am quite ill and he can be fine for a while but today it’s started again. He has suffered abuse in the past from mother and ex wife. (detail removed by Moderator) Can be the sweetest person then vile. I never know what I am going to wake up to. He knows I rely on him, so plays on this.
My history is that I lost my first husband tragically. Then I met him (detail removed by Moderator) years later. He pushed me into marriage. Things were great at first but now he accuses me of being alcoholic – I barely drink, but his first Wife was! I just can’t do right for doing wrong.
I could bite you with it all night but I just can’t handle it anymore. He shoves me, spits in my face. Then the next day says he is willing to let me off. Help!
5th December 2023 at 12:59 pm #163824sweet4Participant
Its very sad to think,dont know if you guys, get the blame, everytime, im the one at fault,we have been separated for this whole year, he sleeps in one room and me in the other,its Dr Jekyll and Mr Hide syndrome, he can be so nicey nicey, then boom, here we go again,his anger is very very anger, shouting swearing at the top of his voice, i stayed this time as i believed in his pathetic lying.
I have left him at least 4 times this year,also the controlling, we were on holiday last year, after getting back together again,i was eating something, and he told me not to eat anymore, theres certain things that stick in my head, now this year, hes started eating with his mouth open,eating with his hands, picking up things like potatoes,fish cakes etc, stopped showering, stopped putting his clothes in the washing basket, sleeping with his clothes on.
Its been horrific, last year i stayed in my room for 6 weeks, because of his abuse.
Anyway, its been a week since he kicked off, lets see what he does next.
7th December 2023 at 10:27 pm #163897Freedom1Participant
Hi everyone, thank you for being open and sharing your stories. So a quick intro. With exhusband for (detail removed by moderator) years, he was sent to prison in (detail removed by moderator) for (detail removed by moderator), he was a bad husband, he’ll also be on the sex offenders register for life.
Suffer with depression, anxiety trauma etc and am under mental health team.
I got into a relationship with my make best friend of over 20years.
He turned out to be an abuser too… calls me every name under the sun, tells me my life in a s**t show, I’m not capable of anything, tells me everyone I spend time with is bad and that I make poor decisions etc..
I have 2 (detail removed by moderator) children who have been through so much and have issues.
I cannot do or say anything right, he walks out and ghosts me or send vile messages for days or up to 3 wks.
After a very tough 3 weeks our relationship and friendship is over, we’ve been together (detail removed by moderator) years.
He’s ditched us for Xmas day, we’re booked to go out for lunch. I have absolutely no family support network anymore.
I’m heart broken, how do I tell my teens?? This man has told them he thinks of them as his own, would never leave their lives and would be there always for anything they needed.
As a friend, he was not this person, he was my sole mate, I have no idea who this evil person is.
I’m just devastated for my kids. My daughter thinks no one loves her other than we. All wants is for someone to stay…. Please help I’m devastated
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