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I’ve been emotionally abused and a few days ago he hit me and threatened me and made me scared in my own home I told him we were over but now he keeps messaging me saying to give him another chance we have a child together so I put him on a video call to see him and then he wanted to talk to me and one of the things he said was if I didn’t want him back he would kill himself
What do I do I really don’t want to be with him and I know this is emotional blackmail has anyone experienced this after they’ve left and what help there is I really just want him to leave me alone
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Hi, yes! The threat of suicide is a common tactic to keep himself seen as a victim, to regain control and to keep things on his terms… my husband also used suicide as a tactic..I was so afraid that my husband would attempt suicide (we have children and married decades) that I rang the GP to ask them to help him.. my husband carried on with the suicide threat, feigning depression so I asked the police to check on him, welfare check, my husband was fine!
Don’t believe a word he says, if he was suicidal it is upto him to reach out for help and.not to threaten you with taking his life because he is unhappy that you stood up for yourself … he has been violent to you, emotionally abusing you..you owe him nothing, you owe yourself a life free of abuse and manipulation.. it is tough when suicide is used as a tactic but this is on him.
Keep posting
Big hugs, HFH ❤️ -
Yes, had all that too. But like H4H said it’s a tactic because it triggers your caring side which makes you doubt leaving, distracts (or worse tries to excuse) from what he did to you a few days ago and makes him into the victim if you stay strong & leave = ‘she left me when I was suicidal isn’t she awful’. I think forcing yourself to not jump & help these people is one of the hardest hurdles, you have to care from a distance until the trauma bond breaks. Remind yourself he’s an adult and can access a wealth of support if he really wants to, focus your energy on your recovery journey right now xx
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