Emotionally and mentally drained

[Coco-melon]

Hi all,

Hopefully writing this down will destress myself a little. My ex partner domestically abused me for (detail removed by Moderator) months and controlled nearly every aspect of my life,(detail removed by Moderator) I have an (detail removed by Moderator) month old daughter who unfortunately has him as a dad, he hasn’t seen her since she was (detail removed by Moderator) weeks old and we are currently going through a child welfare (detail removed by Moderator) thing. I am petrified of him seeing her because of what I went through with him (he raped me and sexually assaulted me but can’t be charged with this), I’m up nearly every night worrying about her not being with me and panicking at him seeing her, (detail removed by Moderator) seems to think my daughter needs a relationship with him but I know she doesn’t and she doesn’t like new people as well she gets upset easily. In honesty I’m just struggling with it all.

[Twisted Sister]

hello and I hope writing it down may have helped you some to relieve the awful continual circling thoughts. I’m sure we’ve all had them. I am so sorry that you are facing this, I have been through similar, and felt the exact same way with the not sleeping, high state of anxiety at him seeing them, and so on. Its just the worst.

I don’t know why the courts seem to start with this as the basis of any case that the child needs a relationship with the father, I’m not sure that evidence bears that out. More important is just one consistent attachment relationship thats safe.

Do you have good legal advice?

You need good legal advice and good emotional support. If you don’t have legal representation that you trust to challenge the courts sufficiently, you could try calling the Rights of Women helpline, if you search for the relevant number to you depending on where you are based they are specialist in your situation.

Do keep writing and working through these most difficult of emotions to process. Lots on here will have also experienced what you are now, and have a very good idea how you are feeling right now, and how you are feeling is completely normal under these circumstances.

Is your GP aware of what you are facing and aware of the domestic abuse? They can be key in supporting you in many ways, including links to other supports in the area.

Take care of yourself all you can, in any way you can to help you manage and be as strong as you can to face this. warmest wishes. ts

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