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I’ve been thinking following all the news recently after the murder of that poor young woman. As well as the abuse I’ve experienced in my own home from intimate partners I’ve have countless experiences of men intimidating me, bullying me, on three separate occasions have had a man expose himself to me and my friends when I was a teen. The list is endless and that’s just me, one woman… 😔
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Hi my beautiful Angel … Hetty,
I understand it can be a lot,
I really feel it is time for us woman to start to reclaim our power, not only personally but in the world.
Any little changes that we can do will help collectively raise the vibration of the feminine.
Forums like this help us to stand united together to empower other woman.
It’s not about hating on men, its about getting the balance back of woman and men, which has become so distorted over the years with men taking control, but it doesn’t have to be this way anymore.
Sending love to all you beautiful ladies, lets raise the vibration of our sisterhood
Darcy xx -
Hey Hetty, I’ve been thinking about this a lot too after the recent tragic news (detail removed by Moderator).
I’ve been leered at, shouted at, whistled at, stared at, groped I don’t know how many times in bars or clubs (it doesn’t even matter if you’re with another male as it’s still happened when I’ve been with my boyfriend!), asked inappropriate questions by male strangers, been called ‘frigid’, I’ve ran down alleyways at night, pretended to be on my phone, taken long detours to stay on main roads and under lamp posts, been told countless times to ‘smile!’ by men I don’t know (women never say this!), felt highly anxious having to walk past groups of males or builders working etc, made myself appear cold and rude in the hope that men won’t try to speak to me (I’ve even considered pretending I can’t speak English), been told by another woman when I complained about creepy men staring that I should be grateful I’m pretty as some people don’t get any attention (nice!). My whole adult life I’ve felt uncomfortable wearing revealing or tight fitted clothing as I don’t want male attention. I only really feel comfortable having my body on show around gay men or other women. Not to mention a sexual abuse incident that occured as a child and then current abuse from boyfriend.
I don’t want to sound like oh boo hoo, woe is me because I know there are countless women who have been through far worse than I ever have but it is ridiculous the lengths we have to go to just to feel safe.
There’s a statistic that’s been circulating the internet saying 97% of women in the UK have been sexually harassed. Well I’m afraid that doesn’t suprise me in the slightest. As a female, all of these precautions we take are just considered normal life for us.
The worst part is the people online (mostly men) arguing against this and saying it’s not an issue or that men get scared too. These people are a disgrace.I read something else interesting that I’ll share. Men like to acknowledge the impact of gender when it comes to higher male suicide rates but they want to ignore gender when it comes to sexual violence. Imagine if on posts about male suicide we all told them that’s sexist, that women kill themselves too. Apparently suicide attempts are much higher in women, it’s just that men usually use more violent methods so are more likely to die. Despite this, where do you see women derailing that conversation about male suicide to make it about us? An interesting point I thought.
I just hope things can change over time xx -
I am feeling similarly. Enough is enough. Things must change. GT i agree, i have come across a few of those men online and tried to put my point across and back up other women’s arguments and all we got was belittling, deflecting and even gas lighting. I can’t help but think that these men who are arguing online are most probably abusive to the women closest to them and that’s why they are reacting so strongly to these comments. It makes me so angry. What does give me hope is the men out there willing to listen and asking what they can do, though I wish there were more of them out there!
I am going to light a candle now. I will be thinking of (detail removed by Moderator) and her family and all who knew her and of all the amazing women on here x
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I will also light a candle at 9.30 pm tonight (detail removed by Moderator).
I’ve been thinking about it all day and it makes me feel sick to the stomach.
(detail removed by Moderator) It is soo sad.I have also been victim of indecent exposures as a child and teen and sexual harassment and I recently left an abusive relationship of (detail removed by Moderator) years.
Change has to come but I can’t see it happening.All I know is that I will raise my boys to be gentlemen and not abusers.I will teach them how to respect women, how to treat them and how not to talk to them.And leaving their dad was sadly the first step to do so.
Thinking of all the women who lost their lives to man violence tonight and always 🕯🕯🕯 -
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Recently I told someone close that I post on this forum. His reaction was to state that domestic abuse against men, by women, is on the increase. I don’t know where he got this from but I told him straight that he’s not helping anyone, particularly abused women.
(detail removed by Moderator) a (detail removed by Moderator) responded to women’s safety fears by saying not all men are rapists and young men get murdered too.
How are we supposed to respond to that? Oh well, that’s OK then.
It’s not a b****y competition!
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t look behind me as I entered a dark street. Or even a path in daylight if I couldn’t see the exit. I’ve always checked the back of taxis for a licence tag, answered the driver’s intrusive questions with lies, had my phone and keys handy.
I should be outraged that I have spent all my life expecting to be assaulted on my way home alone. But I’m not outraged.
Well-meaning men should be outraged that they have to consider my safety whenever I venture out alone. But they’re not outraged.
No one is outraged. Both women and men accept that women are prey. Women and men accept that it’s the responsibility of the prey to keep themselves safe from the predator. This is the norm. This is how it’s been my whole life.
It’s truly outrageous.
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My ex used to fly off the handle when the whole #metoo movement started. He hated women being taken seriously and speaking out. At the same time he’d call out others for bullying online but then call me horrendous names. It was like I had become sub human to him.
I’ve felt scared my whole life when out walking either in an isolated spot or in the dark. Every night out starts with my plan of how I will get home safely. Also, the internet, social media and mobile phones has opened up a whole other issue. I hear in my work very regularly about young girls being sent inappropriate images from boys and men, being groomed, threatened etc.
Thinking of women who have lost their lives, had their lives destroyed and who take that walk home in fear (not just their vulnerability on the streets but also to what they are going home to) ❤️-
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I think they know what they do to us is wrong so can see quite clearly when unacceptable behaviour is occurring. In my experience believe that more often than not they want to appear justified in their action to us. It’s like they’re saying “look how I can be empathic or stand up for others, you are the problem in our relationship”. They also like to keep up a facade to others and present a normal,healthy and functional person. This keeps them feeling ok. Sometimes when my ex would comment on something from a place of empathy I could see a flicker on his face when it would dawn on him that I knew the real him. He’d then proceed with caution or change the subject. Xx
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Hi GT
What’s confusing? Is he really ‘outraged’ or simply jumping on the bandwagon, repeating rhetoric, getting all hot under the collar from the comfort of his sofa?
I almost wish I hadn’t used the word ‘outraged’ in my post. No offence meant to anyone at all, I mean that, but the word has become seriously devalued since the (detail removed by Moderator) uses it so frequently in headlines. 😂
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Terrible scenes at the vigil. I can’t see any actions that warranted the physical detention of women participants. It was a peaceful event until (detail removed by Moderator) and stood between the crowd and the bandstand. Thank god for smart phones and instant videos (detail removed by Moderator). Their actions demonstrate to all of us that women’s voices are not heard, tolerated or respected (detail removed by Moderator).
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