13th February 2021 at 7:35 am #121620
Hi i can relate to you all.
I have 4 daughters.
(detail removed by Moderator) one of them beat me up.
Lately, the husband has been told to go for a divorce, as the abuse has been going on for years.
I have been told its emotional and controlling abuse.
The daughter who lives here has been tormenting me for years, she walks into my house, walks upstairs to her room, comes back down to the kitchen, completely ignores me, and has been doing this for years, no good morning, comes home from work, eats my food, lives here, for free.
She bought the family food and didn’t buy me any.
Used her sister to talk through me, to find out how to cook a meal.
So i have had enough and lost it,she has been told, she has till (detail removed by Moderator) to find herself a place to live. I tell him all this he does any says nothing apart to defend her, he is a very weak man.
The husband… Has been sleeping on the sofa for years, i dont know what it is like to have a cuddle.
For the last few weeks, hes been throwing insults at me, so enough is enough.
He refuses to move out.
I am living in my bedroom.
13th February 2021 at 8:12 am #121621
It sounds like she’s learned from your abuser. Do you have support from women’s aid? You don’t have to live like this. He won’t support you with her. He will back her so they both can gang up on you. Could you afford to move out and rent somewhere else with the younger children?
13th February 2021 at 8:22 am #121622
Thank you for your support.
I have contacted Woman’s Aid, they said its best to contact (detail removed by Moderator),i have a telephone appointment on (detail removed by Moderator).
I am trying to get them out of this house, i am not entitled to Legal Aid, the house has gone on the market.I am on benefits, i have not worked for (detail removed by Moderator) years, not by choice, i could not make friends as it is not a sociable job.
I dont have the money to rent, i dont have the money to pay for a solicitor.I dont have anywhere to go.
My GP said it would be best to move into a womans shelter but that would just make me feel worse.
14th February 2021 at 4:29 pm #121692
(detail removed by Moderator) he threatened to knock down my bedroom door, as he wanted to use the shower, considering through all of this he has been using the other bathroom.
He shouted and swearing in a rage. Im going to knock the …….. door down, and I said if you do I will call the police. In front of my daughter and grandson, he started to take his clothes out and I said (detail removed by Moderator), more shouting, that’s against the law.
Then (the other abuser in this house) daughter, he shouts, do what I asked you to look for, trying to intimidate me. I just hope (detail removed by Moderator) can help me (detail removed by Moderator), all humanity has been drained from me.
14th February 2021 at 5:18 pm #121694
Would your daughter and grandson make a statement to the police to have him removed?
14th February 2021 at 5:20 pm #121695
It’s domestic abuse and it’s illegal. I think you should talk to the police for advice. You can ask to speak to the domestic abuse unit.
15th February 2021 at 7:08 am #121717
Thank you so much for your support.
The other daughter wont get involved.
The grandson is a toddler.
I will certainly call them today.
Dont know what i would do without you.
Thank you sooooo much.
15th February 2021 at 1:48 pm #121747
Hi first time in the back of a police car.
They weren’t really helpful.
They just said, as the house is in joint names, he has the right to live here.
Also what really annoyed me is, the daughter can stay here,if he says so.
Im livid.Advised to get in contact with a solicitor, which im in the process of doing.
So i have to live in my bedroom.
16th February 2021 at 12:09 pm #121794
hi after speaking to Solice today, the lady said, it sounds like an argument with your husband.I need to say what he was doing and saying, to be more specific, but i cant remember all of it as it was (detail removed by moderator) ago. i remember the rages and him shouting, I cant remember the insults he through at me and the complaints about sex.Putting me down as i dont get undressed in front of him any more and calling me weird.The daughter, yes its emotional abuse and for him not defending me, i dont know how to put that into words.
I just feel like im up against a brick wall, i cant find any support apart from on this website,
16th February 2021 at 12:24 pm #121796
We can’t remember the details of what they’re screaming at us because we are traumatised. Traumatised by the abuse. I secretly recorded my abuser and it was used as evidence. Rights for Women offer free legal advice. Try their helpline and most solicitors offer a free initial consultation. I’d go back to women’s aid and tell them Solace were no help. Don’t give up. He’s counting in that. Was it the domestic abuse police you spoke to?
16th February 2021 at 12:49 pm #121797
The cops didnt say anything apart from he has his rights, i cant get them out of the house, then again Solice said i can if i can try and remember the things he shouted at me and make a better case. im really doubting myself, thinking is it me, did all that really happen, i have now paid a lawyer to have a chat.
16th February 2021 at 1:01 pm #121798
Are you keeping a journal? I’d really urge you to do this as it’s good evidence and also it may be quite some time before the house sells and that’s if he agrees. And sticks to any agreement.
16th February 2021 at 1:19 pm #121799
Yes i know not to trust him, just waiting on him taking the car, he done that like (detail removed by moderator), hes got the papers, sitting on the table.Thank you soooo much Kip, so i will write down the dates, and i will contact the Womans Refugee you mentioned,ive got the lawyer calling (detail removed by moderator), just wish i could remember the insults he was throwing at me.
20th February 2021 at 4:09 pm #122043
This is so unfair.
My daughter comes over with my Grandson and i am in my bedroom.
I have to listed to him, chatting and laughing, although i did take him for a walk today, but when i come back i have to retire to my bedroom.
As ,obviously i cant be in the room with both of the abusers.Its just not right, i lose out every time.
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