- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 1 month ago by
lilaclady.
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1st January 2017 at 8:33 am #35272
lilaclady
ParticipantFirstly happy 2017 to all you ladies on here. I hope we all get what we need this year. Peace, strength and support in our lives.
Sometimes I feel like and idiot posting on here as some of you are going through way more than I ever had and have been so strong and brave.
Haven’t posted in a while things were better for a bit…. Christmas good now we are on holidays and the usual patterns happening. Blaming me when things don’t go right, wanting everything his way, switching between being nice and then nasty, being p****d off when I withdraw…
Last straw was sitting in the car (removed by moderator) and our son was grizzling and he was getting impatient even though he wanted to endlessly go on scenic drives. He reached back and sort of (I couldn’t really see) pinched his lips together not hard just to say stop making that noise. I thought W*F????? Really???? And repeatedly has sworn loudly in front of him even though I ask him not to. And when I pick him up on stuff I am nagging and f-img spoilt as he has brought me to this lovely place on holiday.
Find it very hard to make decisions with this but I am now determined to work on my plan I started end of last year to get out. I don’t love him anymore his behaviour has destroyed my love. So slowly but surely I am going to find a place to rent for my son and GET OUT. Just hope I can be strong to actually follow this through now.
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1st January 2017 at 2:39 pm #35287
shine bright 2
ParticipantGosh…i remember stuff just like this. He has always given the image of being a great dad…all laughter and fun, but he wud pinch the kids when they cried. Once when we are driving and my oldest was a baby she was crying and he just said make her shut up or i will kill us all as he swerved. I dug my nails into my arm so hard i drew blood because i thought he wud kill us.. These things oftwn happened on days out that i was supposed to enjoy. He told me i was ruining our time. Following through…it will take u time to know that it was the right thing to do.
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1st January 2017 at 5:21 pm #35291
Lisa
Main ModeratorHi lilaclady,
Thanks for your post. First, please try not to worry about posting on here; everyone’s situations are different, but abuse is abuse and no matter what type it is, it is unacceptable and inexcusable. The behaviour you explain by your partner is very abusive and threatening, and emotional abuse is exhausting and debilitating.
It’s totally understandable that you’ve found it hard to know what to do, however it sounds like you have come to a big decision in your mind; that you know you need to work towards ending this relationship. I really encourage you to keep posting on here and to talk to the helpline or your local domestic abuse service for support.
Kind Regards, we are all here for you,
Lisa
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3rd January 2017 at 12:44 am #35377
lilaclady
ParticipantThanks both for your posts. Really helped me. I keep telling myself that I have no idea how I am going to do this but I am doing it and it will happen. I am gathering my strength and I can fully see what he is doing now. It’s just a matter of time. Will keep posting this forum is such a lifeline xx
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4th January 2017 at 3:49 pm #35514
Grenache
ParticipantDon’t feel like an idiot! If your intuition is screaming something at you, listen to it. I think many of us have felt like that, like maybe he is not physically abusive so I’m over reacting or he is physically abusive but it’s just a slap, it’s not like he’s beating me up and we could go on and on until we say “at least I’m not dead” but there’s so much more to life.
Stay strong and always trust yourself <3
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5th January 2017 at 1:10 am #35561
lilaclady
ParticipantThanks Grenache. I was reading your post on another thread about how you wished you’d left earlier and how bad it gets when it carries on for a long time and that has given me so much strength to carry on and get out. Every time I think maybe I’ll just leave it for a bit or get scared I think no imagine this in one year, five years, ten! It will be so much harder to leave it will have had so much more of an effect on my son and me. And it will break me. Thanks for you posts! Such good advice which I greatly need right now. Listening to my intuition is key and it’s screaming get out now!
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