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Every friend I speak to says they are concerned. They listen to me and two of them have offered me a key to their flat or home. One of them keeps telling me you know where to go if it kicks off again, don’t you? You come directly to my home, ok? The other one presented me her spare key yet she is 30 years younger than me. The first friend even asked me if I could run (she meant am I physically able to run and get away quickly).
I hear my friends talk direct words, they summarise what I can’t summarise. I don’t feel the danger. I simply play safe. In the meantime he knows how to be ”kind”, let’s say ”useful” because kindness doesn’t come into it when there is no communication. I have hardly asked for anything, and what I did ask help for I could have done myself, the only thing is he cut me off from finances. So I have to rely on my savings and my small weekly income. So far so good. He has not even disagreed to pay for something I needed which ran in a couple of hundred Pounds +.
I get wake up calls by listening to my friends who so quickly and so appropriately see what I can’t see, feel what I can’t feel. Danger. I brush it off. I seriously believe it could never happen again. Yet when I dig in my recent memories, I get that pulling back to reality. But the reasons why I am back home are strong. Anyway, I keep busy and I am silent, I cause no trouble, I voice nothing.
Anyway I had a nice coffee this morning with a friend, I had not seen her in over [detail removed by moderator] months. But she said he is a ticking time bomb. I simply laugh this off, I take nothing seriously.
Next week is the first time I will meet a second DV support worker. Something is always at the back of my mind but I constantly minimise things. Why?
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You are in denial. That is a mechanism to protect yourself. But instead of protection this puts you into more danger.
I am glad you have friends who are there for you.
My friends retracted when they found out what I experienced and I had nowhere to go.
Stay alert and be ready to run, so that nothing happens to you. -
Because you are back there , you are in denial to cope. I have lived years in denial but now I see everything he does, every tiny thing and im so aware of his games.I get knocked down by him emotioanly but i get back up and keep fighting
So good you have such loyal friends, no one I other then the ladies on her give a d**n what happens to me including my own children everyone neighbours and all turn a blind eye and I cant stand the people who know about him yet laugh and joke with him, I see them as aiding and abeting him
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