Ex family

[Ostrich]

Hi I’m new here, looking for a different perspective on things. A part of me feels like I’m being petty, my child’s sister messages on significant events. They don’t message any other time and don’t even ask how he is or how’s he getting on at school,just what size clothes he is. Father has to arrange contact centre for access because I don’t trust he’s not going to put my child in situations that could affect his emotional and physical well-being. Also when she messages it’s usually to provoke me into a slanging match which I shutdown and do not participate in. Its like they only pop up when they can shower him with gifts but are not interested in his day to day life. Any suggestions or interpretation would be appreciated. Thanks

[Lisa]

Hello Ostrich,

I just wanted to offer you some support around this.

It must be very difficult to witness your child’s family not making an effort to build or maintain a meaningful relationship with your child. It can be so frustrating to see our children either being upset or not considered by family members as it can feel so outside of our control and we always want to protect our children.

It sounds like you are doing what you can to try to stop your child from being exposed to their manipulative and abusive behaviour. It may not feel like it at the moment but one day your child will be grown up enough to recognise who in their life genuinely loved and cared for them.

If you feel like you need any further advice and support around the contact, you may want to connect with your local specialist domestic abuse support service. You can find their details here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

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