Ex playing the victim?

[KIP.]

I’m so angry my grown up son came round to see me after the guilty verdict. Now he wants to know exactly what dad was arrested for. Did I know dad could go to jail. Dad still legally owns half this house. I kept calm and in a calm voice explained my side of the story. He seemed happy when he left but I’m so angry I felt like I was having to defend my actions. I explained to him about victim blaming but some of the stuff he came out with was straight out his dad mouth. Blaming, excusing etc. not once did he ask how I was in all of this. I want him to be able to talk to me, which I told him, but it’s left me with that awful aftershock again. I don’t want to discuss it again with him but desperately want to keep communication open as his dad was filling his head with nonsense. Can anyone help. Do I just refuse to discuss it now he knows my side. He was a witness and told me something he said in court. He thinks he was protecting his dad but I’m afraid it made things worse for his dad. By the way, his dad’s been trying to win father of the year since his arrest. For the first time I saw that my son feels sorry for his cheating, lying, violent dad.

[Serenity]

Hi KIP,

His dad did his best Oscar performance, turning on the pity and guilt provoking act. They are such good liars, they are almost plausible.

Hence your son came round to you. He wanted to hear you respond.

He left in peace because, knowing you and seeing your graceful response, he felt at peace again. Your confidence and resilience convinces him of the truth.

My boys return from a spell with their dad quite agitated. It is getting better over time. Think of the mind games they suffer.

Carry on being a graceful swan. Don’t bat the ball back!

Seeing his dad sentenced for his crimes is bound to be difficult for him. Not because he thinks he is innocent, but because he has his dad’s DNA. There must be a hope in his dad’s innocence, and a revulsion about what has come to light.

This is another hurdle in the long marathon you are running. But you are nearing the finishing line. x*x

[Falling Skys]

Hi KIP

I beggars belief how these abusers can look the victim.

Serenity has hit the nail on the head.

I just wish to send you hugs xx

[Confused123]

Hi kip

Hope u bearing up , can only offer u hug of support , get it out how u feeling , u r in right for following this through , well done for calmly explaining it , your son knows the truth deep down it’s easier for everyone to say forget about what happend , it didn’t happen to them it’s is it happened to ,

[Author]

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