Ex still tries to manipulate, suicide threats

[Behappybekind]

Hi I am new to this site and just looking for some advice really.
I left my husband (detail removed by moderator) and after (detail removed by moderator) he finally moved out and i have managed to push through our divorce in that time also. I only realised after he had gone how he had been emotionally controlling me for our (detail removed by moderator) together, and am thankful i am now out of that relationship. However we have 2 wonderful kids together and so am unable to cut ties.
I have found that any contact other than around the kids is constantly miscontrued and i am therefore now very blunt and will only respond where necessary around the kids. He is obviously unhappy at the lack of control he now has. Since we split he has hacked my emails, hacked a dating site i went onto, tried to question friends/kids about what i am doing, has used my daughters phone to listen to conversations of mine etc. At no time have i ever shown any reaction, which is what he hates. Recently i started to see someone and he has found out and confronted me when we were outside my house He was irrational, racist and threatened to kill him if he hurt me or the kids. I told him his behaviour was unnaceptable ad we left on a bad note. After which his friend later contacted me to say he had made a makeshift noose in his house. This is behavoir which i have seen before with him, making veiled threats to kill himself if he is not getting what he wants.
I have made it clear that i cannot get involved and continue to keep away unless its about the kids.
Just wondered if anyone else has experienced this and how best to manage the situation?

Thanks!

 

[KIP.]

Yes and you’re doing great. Tell the ‘friend’ to ring 999 and get an ambulance if he threatens suicide or report him to NHS24. Suicide threats are very common and so are threats to kill. Please report his behaviour and threats to the police if you haven’t already. Get support from your local women’s aid.you do not have to put up with this abuse. Is there a third party that can help with communication. That can text message anything to do with the kids. Cutting you totally out the loop. I’d also refuse to allow him to have the children as he’s clearly unstable and need professional help. Ring the national domestic abuse helpline or your local women’s aid. You need a support network round you and his behaviour is escalating x

[Iwantmeback]

My ex tried to do something similar, third party flying monkey begging me to phone him as they were worried, told them who to contact, didn’t want to get him into trouble, said if you’re that worried call an ambulance or the police. I ended up calling wa, they managed to put it into perspective verified that I knew it was a threat but if he carried it out that was his choice. They will do anything to get into your life. I eventually spoke to him after nearly a week of having had no contact, and that was his way in. its all they want, a way in.
You’re doing great, did he care when you were feeling so low, no he carried on regardless.
Stay strong
💞💞

[Behappybekind]

Thanks. I am sticking to my guns and not letting him draw me in. Have told his friend to call the police if they need to but that i will not get involved. I just hope that he tires of this selfish behaviour one day!

[KIP.]

Nope they never tire. It’s up to you to set boundaries and to protect yourself proactively from him and his behaviour. Shutting every door along the way firmly. Not allowing him access to your life. You don’t want to hear anything about him from friends or family. He is no longer your problem x

[Behappybekind]

Thanks KIP, I recognise that I am still new to this and have always seen the best in people. It definitely helps to have someone remind me that sometimes that is just not the case! x

[Wan321]

Hi i am new to this group. This is one of the things i am struggling with most. My ex pulled stunts like this when we were together and now iv left and she has no contact with me she ring’s friends/family with the same threats. I have told d every one to block her but still struggle with the what if

[Scottish Thistle]

I had similar dealings with my husband. He doesn’t like that I have taken control over the situation he has put us in so is doing his best to hurt me in the only way he knows how – women! In our case there is no kids, I am slowly trying to make cuts which is hard as we have lots of friends together.

[Eggshells]

Oh my goodness. You are all so sensible. I feel guilty for my first response when I read these posts about ex’s trying to top themselves. But I can’t help but think that they’d be doing us all a favour; which I guess is why I know that they won’t actually do it.

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