Ex trying to control through child contact

[Hopingforpeace]

Hi Ladies, not posted for a while and after your thoughts and experiences please.

Young child, not yet at school, who for past few months has struggled with overnight contact and prior to that there were issues too. Hasnt stayed this year. At beginning of year ex took child when was very distressed and didnt want to go with him and didnt bring child back when said he would. Child keeps getting distressed and daddy brings child home, child doesnt stay over. We agree a break from overnight. We try again a few months later and same thing happens. i wrote to ex asking for his thoughts on this. Ex doesnt respond. i asked him again, no response. i have asked several times for him not to speak to child about it til we have discussed and tried to agree way forward, as causes worry to child, child feels pressured. Ex ignores me and speaks to child, promising child this and that if child stays etc. Ex has spoken to child and is telling me we are trying overnight contact again.

any thoughts welcome please.

[Suntree]

Thoughts.

Keep all communications. Do them in writing. Keep a diary.

Do you have a contact order through court?

You won’t get a reasonable answer or discussion don’t try.

When ex talks to child and child talks to you have an open discussion at their age level asking how they feel about it?

[Hopingforpeace]

Ok yes got everything in writing as that’s only way can communicate.

Yes got court order and court wanted us to try resolve any issues that arise between ourselves. I tried to explain how difficult that was given the situation but that’s where we are at.

Had age appropriate conversation with child.

Thank you

[Author]

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