Ex wants to talk

[Harriet123]

So, my ex sent me a message (detail removed by Moderator) regarding coparenting. We have been separated for a few years now (detail removed by Moderator)
He’s been weirdly nice recently (still showing his moods now and then) and now he’s messaged saying to wants to talk about our daughters best interests and how we need to communicate so she is the priority rather than people’s feelings. This stemmed from him saying he wants her birthday party with school friends at his house and I said I would feel more comfortable hiring a hall or something. he also said he has always wanted what’s best for our daughter and has always tried to get along with me, which isn’t true. I just feel if I go he’s going to try and gaslight me and say it’s all for our daughter when really it’s all for him.

Im not sure what to do. I want what’s best for my girl but I also don’t want him trying to get in my head again.

It already makes me want to crumble and I just know that if I go there I will cry and I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

[Anonymous]

Am not sure I would feel safe or comfortable going to his house.i don’t know your situation .If your already feeling the way you are about it personally I would do something like that as you suggested in a more public place i.e a hall.
Or maybe if he wants to do something he can himself?
As I said I don’t no your situation please do what is best for you.take care

[StrongLife]

I won’t talk to ex nor be in same room now. Being in same room gives them opportunities to hurt you.

There are other avenues such as going no contact so they cannot abuse you again or via lawyers letters.

Co parenting is a myth with abusers. It works with others but these fellows just pile abuse after abuse. Tried co parenting for some time in my case until I blocked him after yet more abuse and moved away. They do not change.

My thoughts were – I left him, why do I need to talk to him now and still put up with abuse. To many threats and no co parenting anyways – the is a limit for EX partner. I moved on from that abusive relationship instead.
Co parenting was long abusive emails and screaming calls.
Domestic violence counsellors have techniques for safe communication. There’s all sorts of other things that one can try.
Hope that helps.

[Harriet123]

Thanks a lot, I actually replied to him and said I did not want to meet and talk and if there was anything he wanted to discuss then we could do it through ‘(detail removed by Moderator)’ app. He didn’t like that and was rude and just tried to gaslight me and say things to try and hurt me.

It reminded me that I made the right decision and to always listen to my gut feeling.

Strangely, I still always hope that he will be a good person and change but he reminds me time and time again that he won’t.

[StrongLife]

I’ve heard of these apps. Good on you. I have no contact – it’s just abuse.
Prefer my quiet life. He stopped contacting me after I did not contact him back. No point – all abuse.

[Author]

Posts