Ex wrote a letter to my (dead) mum ???

[lostouthere]

Hi all,

Bit of a weird one but just wanted to write it down somewhere for my own benefit and also get opinions. I left my abuser (detail removed by Moderator) days ago, and he emailed me (detail removed by Moderator) one was a long one blaming me for everything he did and saying it would be his last message to me. But (detail removed by Moderator) he’s (detail removed by Moderator) emailed me (I can’t block his email address because it’s a (detail removed by Moderator) email) about a letter I knew he was writing to my mum who died (detail removed by Moderator) years ago, telling her about all the ways that I’ve changed and developed as a person since she died and since he’s known me (detail removed by Moderator). He said if it was anything else, he wouldn’t have contacted me, but he knows how important things are to me with my mum. The thing is, despite everything, he was actually really sensitive and empathetic to things and the best person I’ve ever talked to about all the trauma I’ve experienced in my life, both bereavement and abuse and r*pe and other things. So I think the letter itself is genuine, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to reply to his email as that breaks the radio silence I have given him, which I think is probably his worst nightmare as a n********t. My friends and family all think it’s a bit twisted and f****d up that he’s done that, and pointed out that my mum wouldn’t want me to have anything more to do with him, so I won’t.

I just wanted to get other peoples’ thoughts too??

[Mellow]

I don’t think his intentions are empathetic it’s to get attention.if he is truly a **** they don’t even care if someone dies in my opinion.my parent died and mine took money from them without an ounce of empathy and gave it to a side chick he was happy to just take a dead person money afte he works full time.be very careful

[minimeerkat]

mellows right. be very careful. never underestimate how clever they can actually be.
if allowed, they will try in as many ways possible to find a way back in & regain control. And any ‘weakness’ (this is in their eyes) is ideal – meaning he knows how much your mum meant to you so is using this to try & manipulate you.
as much as it appears genuine to you, be completely aware of what is actually going on here & be very very careful x

[StrongLife]

I spoke to my mother at her grave. I had hard time. I did not know. It was rough. Writing letters is therapeutic. Sorry to hear about your mother.

Breaking radio silence is difficult. I have been on radio silence for long time too.

Yes they are clever – will lie, accuse you, twist your words etc.

[Author]

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