ex's girlfriend annoying me

[savingthestars]

I have found out my ex’s girlfriend writes on my daughters annual review. This is meant to be something a parent fills in to say what they have noticed. She also calls herself step-mum to a child unrelated to my ex boyfriend. I mean, she might not be aware that he is unrelated, but it makes me a bit annoyed. She is not married to him, and has no legal rights. My ex says my boyfriend cannot make decisions on my child, that isn’t his because he has no PR, yet she calls herself my kids mum and all sorts. I dunno what to say or think at the moment

[Lisa]

Hi Savingthestars

Its one rule for him and his partner and another for you it seems, only you and your ex have PR so no one else will be able to make decisions about your children. Its so hard when you don’t agree with how she is, when she is with your daughter, as that is something you have little or no control over. Its understandable that you feel put out by this.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[savingthestars]

When she picked up she basically blackmailed my kids, and called my daughter – who isnt even related to my ex – her child. I just broke down in tears.

[KIP.]

Hi, I know this is very difficult but this is where your boundary setting comes in. You can’t control the behaviour of others but you can control your boundaries. Why is she and he having access to a child that isn’t his for a start? The annual review for parents? Who is this for? Ask for a separate form for yourself and cut him and her out. Make comment on your form that you’re unhappy for third party input. I know how upsetting this is for you but this woman sounds really really insecure in herself and I’m assuming your ex is encouraging this. Abusers love drama. I think they might be pushing your buttons looking for a reaction. Don’t give them it. You are in charge. Hold your head high. Set your own boundaries and cut them both out x when it’s overwhelming, break it down into little pieces. How do you eat an elephant? One teaspoon at a time x

[KIP.]

When your nice and calm it might be worth having a chat with all the children and reassuring them letting them know that other women may come and go in their lives but you will always be their mum, and will always be their rock and their safe place. No matter what other people want them to call them outside of your home. Perhaps you need a little reassurance too. It’s scary when someone tries to invade your territory x

[Author]

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