Falling deeper and deeper

[Gazebo]

Been a while since I posted but I’m still stuck and miserable ;-( I feel like I becoming more and more trapped and just falling deeper and deeper. I just don’t know how to handle things, he messages me constantly through the day always putting love you at the end if I don’t respond the same I get oh no love you at the end…makes me feel sick just having to type it! Then I get constant messages about sex oh it’s been so many days now since we haven’t (even though we don’t do it lees than 1/2 a weeks as he can’t cope with longer and I don’t hear the end of it! I broke down on my mom and sister at the weekdnd they don’t know what to say or do they want me out but know it’s not as easy as just walking away with two small children, I feel like I’m going to be trapped snd unhappy forever I don’t think there’s really any advise I just wanted to get it all off my chest I just feel sadder and sadder every day! But feel im making it my own fault as I still send the love you or have sex and make out things are ok when there really not! Xx

[nbumblebee]

Well done for reaching out that took courage and now you have support which will be so important.
Now to the sex bit. I can imagine we all do this i know i do. I always say i love you I always give in to his needs because its safer and easier. Yes i feel ashamed yes i feel used and disgusted but it keeps me safe. You are not alone here.
None of this is your fault none of it.
You are so much braver than you realise you have reached to family and now you have that support keep going, reach out further. Womans aid your gp, a counsellor reach further and load yourself with knowledge, advise, support so you can face this fight. To stay or to go neither option is easy, you will have to fight regardless you are now not alone you have support and with more support you will be able to choose which fight is right for you and you will fight and win sweetie you will. Sending you a whike lot of hugs. Stay safe keep talking and believe in yourself. X

[Gazebo]

Thank you so much for replying I’m finding it very hard at the moment, sadly lady i work with his covid this week luckily for me this meant I covered her hours not ideal for her but has helped me get out the house for longer while my little ones are at school. I’m exhausted from feeling so low and having to deal with his needyness it’s constant I’m expected to make him feel better when he’s having a c**p day – I’m so fed of being told off for this that and everything, fed up of being told how to act and feel feel sick at the moment as he’s downstairs and I know I have to go down there soon and I just want to curl up and go to bed but I’ll be in trouble for doing that 🙁 god why is it all so hard xx

[nbumblebee]

@gazebo I wish i had some words of wisdom some comfort to take away your pain but I dont.
You arent alone in feeling the way you do if that helps at all. You just gotta be strong reach out for help and take that help. You deserve so much more than this sweetie reach out. Xxxx

[Supersad]

I am in a similar situation. My little girl is still a baby and am due another one soon. He physically and mentally abuses me and then he expects me to act like everything is OK. He expects to have sex every day.

[nbumblebee]

@supersad you are certainly not alone here sweetie. Maybe you can reach out find some support whether it be at home or through womans aid you are brave enough to come here and share hour story maybe you can take that a little step further and reach out a bit more. There is help out there. Sending you hugs xx

[Gazebo]

I’m so sorry to read this please reach and get some help, my husband isn’t physical but I’m struggling massively at the moment and feel so so trapped xx I hope your ok xx

[LuminousPhoenix]

I’m new to the forum, I joined yesterday. Since then I have read so many of your posts. Sometimes thinking ‘OMG, I’m not alone, this is what was happening to me. That’s abuse?’ or ‘I feel like such a fraud.’ I know that its just I don’t know how to process any of what has happened and the mess it has left in it wake. And that I haven’t accepted that I allowed myself to get in that position in the first place. I just thought I would carry on as if nothing had happened after I had reported him to the police and he was arrested. But its not that easy.

[Gazebo]

I hope your ok I don’t know your back ground – are you out of it now? Xx

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