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    • #128680
      peppa-pig
      Participant

      Hi, so recently I reconnected with some one that let’s say was very important to me in my teens, first love should I say, the problem was back then, it was never the right time, fast forward (detail removed by Moderator) years and we are grown ups with children, from the first text messege to finally seeing each other again I felt in my heart the same way I felt all those years ago like it never went away.
      He has also got out of a toxic relationship so we are both able to lean on each other in that regards, and none of us want a serious relationship because we feel we need too take a break from them but we don’t want to just be friends either
      I was battling with my feelings of anxiety and is it ok? Am I allowed to move forward right now but I can can’t I? I don’t even know why I’m questioning it I am so scared that feeling this way with the anxiety will ruin what we could have I care about him so much and I don’t. Want to lose him again I want to get it right this time

    • #128694
      littledove
      Participant

      Hi there,

      So it’s nice that you can lean on each other for support, but just be careful of co-dependency. When you’re in a vulnerable place you can sometimes rely on someone else for your happiness. This is why sometimes a person that’s been in an abusive relationship can end up in another abusive relationship as they haven’t fully healed themselves or worked on themselves from the last one.

      I think it’s a good idea to be friends just now whilst you’re both still healing from your past relationships as yous could both carry things from your past relationships into yours.

      I started dating whilst I was working through my anxiety and the relationship suffered because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. Are you seeing a counsellor for your anxiety? If you were to get into something with this person and it didn’t work out you have to wonder if it will be even more deprimental to your mental health.
      I told myself that I could handle it if things didn’t work out with this guy I was seeing, but when it came to it, it made me worse in the end up because I was still working through parts of myself.

      I think you should focus on yourself and your healing and working on you. You have to be happy with yourself and love yourself before you can he happy with someone else and love someone else.

      I think friends is a good start for now, in fact I would personally myself always start something off as friends first. And hopefully when you are both in a better place a nice relationship can come from it xx

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