This topic contains 9 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  thankgoodness 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #100491
     thankgoodness 
    Participant

    I phoned Samaritans and had a walk. I was having very bad anxiety and panic today. It’s depressing.

    How are you coping with familial abusers during this covid-19 crisis?

  • #100538
     Lisa 
    Main Moderator

    How are you feeling today thankgoodness? Those are some really positive coping techniques; your recognising your need for support and reaching out for it, and getting some fresh air can really help too, especially at the moment.

    I hope you’re feeling a bit better today,

    Lisa

  • #100568
     thankgoodness 
    Participant

    I sometimes feel depressed because of this lockdown disruption but I try my best to cheer myself up 🙂 , I had a walk to just escape from the stress. But I don’t walk too often just to keep safe. I look at the window and can see it’s getting brighter outside because of the lovely spring weather. But I’m staying home, keeping safe. I just want this covid-19 crisis to end and things get back to normal.

  • #100575
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hello thankgoodness, its not being able to control this situation that’s causing my panic to rise. I’m thankfully no longer living with my oh. Left a while ago now, not cut all ties but this virus is actually helping on keeping him from making me feel I can’t not see him. He was phoning constantly but it’s down to once a day sometimes a day or so will go by and I’ve not phoned him to find out why. He’s already said he thinks he won’t see me after this, put in a way that it’ll be me stopping contact but we know these men, he could very well be the one who does that. Always with the mind games.
    Go out into the fresh air, don’t stay indoors for too long. It’ll end up stopping you going out altogether. Just be safe, keep your distance, cross the road to avoid passing people, 2m is the guideline but ìm just being extra cautious, probably because I’m on my own. Keep a, journal of what’s going on throughout the world through your own eyes not social media’s. The major downside to this lockdown is economic, 1000’s of us communicate via technology nowadays. Do what keeps you sane, and safe, physically and online. Don’t trust anyone who offers to fumigate/disinfect for you. There’s so many scammers on the go now, people will always take advantage. Look as those trying to profit through toilet roll,sanitised etc. I hope those people are find once all this is over.
    Our normal will never be the same again, but humans adapt and very quickly too. There will be many positives that’ll come out of this time in history, people coming together being one of them.
    Much love and virtual hugs
    IWMB 💞💞

  • #100646
     thankgoodness 
    Participant

    Thank you IWMB. I appreciate your comment 🙂
    I even had a 5 minute walk today, just to de-stress from the familial issues and anxiety. Even just 5 minutes helps a lot, I come home refreshed, no more tears.

  • #100672
     thankgoodness 
    Participant

    Today, I’m doing deep breathing exercises and meditating. I had to close my eyes and imagine the abuser was not there. Everyday the abuser creates severe anxiety in me but I’m trying to do CBT.

  • #100674
     lover of no contact 
    Participant

    Well done. It’s always good to focus on our breath. It’s also great the way you are reaching out on here for daily support. This is exactly what is needed when dealing with an abuser. We have no control over their negative and nasty behaviour (they get a kick out of bringing others down). But we have control over our behaviour in that we can pick up the phone and/or go online for support in here when we feel we have been affected by their mean behaviours. Also having been in your situation in that I had to live with an abuser husband while waiting for court to decide the separation I worked hard on having minimum contact with him. Of course he worked hard at making sure in any way possible he had contact with me; it was a real cat and mouse game but I got good at it. Avoiding him without it being obvious. It’s awful we even have to do this but that’s the way it is in lockdown we can only work in changing the things we can. I find the Serenity prayer good “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference”.

    Another way of looking at it is pigeons do what pigeons do, if we stand underneath them they will poop on us. Abusers will abuse if we come into contact with them. It’s in their nature. It’s nithing to do with us personally, abusers are addicts and need our hurt and upset and distress to feel good about themselves. If we don’t want the pigeons to poop in us we don’t stand under a bridge where they are; likewise if we don’t want to be on the receiving end of abusive behaviour we have to find ways to distance ourselves from the abuser. A bit like the virus really. We need to not come in contact with it and do whatever that takes to minimize contact. Easier said than done when living in the same house but exposure to abusers can be minimized. If they in the kitchen don’t go in, go in when they’re not there. If they are in the garden don’t go there go to the kitchen instead. It’s a pain to do but it’s worth a try in this lockdown. The main thing though is keep reaching out for support

    • #100733
       thankgoodness 
      Participant

      Thank you Lover Of No Contact, this forum is like a life-saver for me. I suffer from severe anxiety because of familial abuse and other abuses. I know I’m not alone, many other forum members go through abuse. Even the news was discussing about Domestic Abuse and it’s so important the message is put across, lockdown does not mean abuse to victims.

  • #100696
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi there, that’s great to hear, you should be so proud of yourself.💞💞

    • #100734
       thankgoodness 
      Participant

      Thanks IWMB, hope you are okay during this lockdown? Stay safe! 🙂

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

EXIT SITE

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account