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    • #15351
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Are you experiencing familial abuse? You can share your experiences here.

      Best wishes

      Lisa

    • #15437
      Lilycat
      Participant

      Hi Lisa,

      Thanks for bringing this topic up.

      Yes, I was abused psychologically, emotionally and financially by my husband and his young adult child for a prolonged period.

      When my in-laws found out that I had moved out (as I couldn’t take it anymore), they only feigned superficial concern. When I told them about the abuse and the damage to my property, they just said: ‘Poor you. This shouldn’t happen to you… and poor (step-child),too’ meaning that the individual must have had problems and also needed sympathy. Then that was that. Nothing else was said or done, and the conversation moved swiftly to croquet, gardening and classical music, etc. I married into a ‘polite’ middle-class family wherein things like abuse just didn’t happen.

      My own parents have been lovely and supportive, but they don’t live in the same country as me. I have close friends, but the nearest is a few counties away from my own. So I was quite isolated through our courtship and marriage, and was obliged, increasingly,to live a strange dual life; that is to say that my husband was a pillar of the community- in our place of worship, at work and in our neighbourhood- so I had to be the perfect wife. His child obviously learned from their father how to turn on the charm in public, but they were cruel, bitter and sadistic, at home. No one around us would have believed that at the heart of this perfect blended family was a rotten core.

      After a very long time of keeping peace, and appearances-the alternative was being demeaned and treated like a court fool/ village idiot/ supplier of luxury confectionery/ posh-but-foreign-immigrant-background-thingy/ emotional punchbag/ bank- I left. My husband has tried and continues to try to make me feel guilty for abandoning my marriage vows, causing him embarrassment, and abandoning his ‘fragile’ child- who couldn’t,apparently, understand why I left, as they ‘considered you a good friend’.(Naturally,this was totally obvious from their trashing, defecating on and licking my various belongings… which, I admit is a sign of playful affection, if you are a young puppy/ kitten, but is not quite so endearing if you are a human) . My husband is, notably, so co-dependent upon his child that when we were together he had to ask their permission to take me out for dinner, and when I was away on business he would only phone me when they were asleep- which meant that I was taking calls near midnight and in the early hours. Of course, leaving the nest meant that I was abandoning his child,which was tantamount,in his mind, to neglect and abuse.

      No one from our church has contacted me to ask how I am, my husband has persuaded at least one of my (former) friends that I abandoned him and am not of sound mind.

      I am pretty much cut off from all mutual friends from the time my husband and I were together, bar one, who smelled a rat.

      My parents feel that my husband saw an opportunity in me, emotionally and financially, and that having no local support network and being from an ethnic minority (and one that has a particular reputation for hospitality, quietness, dignity and discretion), I would ‘keep mum’, take suffering in my stride and not spill the beans. He certainly picked the ‘right person’. I can’t believe that I was such a doormat for both him and his offspring.

      Having familial abuse recognised has been a task. My parents, friends, therapist and Women’s Aid have been accepting of its existence. But, wider afield, there has been little understanding of step-children abusing their step-parents and co-dependent parent child relationships. Looking for guidance on the Internet showed a dearth of information, so I am really glad that I found WA via my therapist and eventually a GP who understood my challenges.

      • #15442
        Lisa
        Main Moderator

        Hi Lilycat,

        Thank you for sharing with us. I am so pleased you feel you have found support here as well as with your GP and therapist.

        Best wishes,

        Lisa

    • #15657
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Dear all,

      We would be so grateful to all who can help share their experiences of familial abuse. Sadly it is very under acknowledged and by understanding more about individual experiences we can help to ensure that the right support is put in place.

      Please let us know your experiences and what support would be helpful to you or what barriers you have come up against.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa

      • #16722
        Lisa
        Main Moderator

        Dear forum users,

        Abuse from a family member, whether it is a parent, sibling, child or extended family member, can have so many complexities and can have devastating effects.

        Please do let us know what your experiences have been. We are hoping to raise awareness and improve the response of services for survivors of familial abuse.

        Kind Regards,

        Lisa

    • #17012
      dreameroftheday
      Participant

      I think it is not understood as well as other types of abuse. I’m in a refuge because of my father and one of my brothers. Pretty much everyone else is here because of an ex partner. Everyone else is getting help ie counselling and so on. Over (detail removed by Moderator) months later I am still waiting for my counselling. My case was closed by the local healthy minds project almost immediately. I honestly believe that is not done to those here because of an ex. Maybe it’s time people realised abuse can come from anyone not just an ex.

      • #24850
        anna
        Participant

        Hi my name is Anna.
        I experienced severe emotional abuse since i was little by my mum. I also experienced some physical abuse There may have been some sexual abuse as i have vague memories/dreams of that.
        I never told anyone at school what was happening to me and my siblings. i was too frightened. My dad knew what was going on but turned a blind eye to it. my mum also abused my dad and he was/is very frightened of her.
        I left home and got married and i thought my mum would treat me differently i knew it was abuse but i felt like their was some horrible mistake and she loved me really and if i could be kind obedient and loving enough it would all work out right in the end . I did lots of appeasing behaviour like meals out thinking she would be nice to me after, it never worked. I had my own family and mum kept on being abusive she would ring me up and shout at me down the phone, swear at me, insist the whole of my family visit her every weekend if we tried not to go she would be very aggressive.once we talked about the abuse my mum said to my husband i was lying and my dad said i was lying to. they said this several times over the years to my husband. My husband felt our physical safety was compromised during that meeting even though nothing was actually said and thought my dad would hit him if he tried to stop the conversation. she was mainly charming and lovely to my husband and children and everyone outside the home and outright abusive to me behind there back, on the phone and if i was alone with her in the room. but she always insulted me belittled me and mocked me in front of my husband. the sort of more covert abuse.
        I went to see a therapist on the NHS and for the first time told someone what was going on apart from my husband. it was an awful experience because the abuse was severe i was not believed and she went to my house to check the facts with my husband. Which was silly as well as invalidating because my husband was not there when i was a child all he could go on was the horrible things he had seen being done to me as an adult. This made me feel ashamed and stupid and like it was all my fault and i was making a fuss over nothing. After that i totally shut down emotionally and never spoke about the ongoing abuse not to a single person not even my in laws. I became very depressed and unable to function and my husband had the added stress of looking after our children running the home and going to work. fast foward years of this ongoing situation with my mum getting worse interfering with the relationships with my siblings she would keep us all apart and make things up to each sibling so we ended up in basically no contact. my mum would also spy on our private things and we had to hide them.
        Eventually i told another health professional what was going on she was lovely believed me totally .with help from the domestic violence advisor, my gp and my in laws i ended the relationship.
        some people say i only have one mum and should stay and i should be forgiving and my one sibling thinks that and sends me hostile emails to that affect. They contact me to go back and my mum sends me letters

    • #17014
      Peaceful Pig
      Participant

      Hi, I agree that there is a huge gap in services for adult survivors of familial abuse. Even those who need serious psychiatric help just get medicated and don’t get the proper recognition or treatment for their real problem, the trauma they have suffered. Society doesn’t want to face the real scale of the issue. A colleague (an experienced professional) actually commented to me that “we don’t get much sexual abuse around here”!! Mind you, even children who are abused and have that abused recognised don’t have great chances of correct support and there seems to be a determination to ‘keep families together’ at any cost. My childhood abuse, though quite severe in hindsight, was never recognised, even by me until much later. As a teenager all I could do to escape was be homeless or sleep on the sofas of acquaintances, often men who were quite happy to take me in unsurprisingly. I shudder now to think how vulnerable I was. Only now am I receiving proper specialised counselling but that has meant me wasting a further two decades in another abusive relationship with all the accumulated damage that has done. We need to wake up to this issue xx

    • #17102
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi,

      Thank you for sharing your honest feedback on your experiences of dealing with support agencies for familial abuse. As you have both said, it is an issue that needs to be recognised and appropriate support put in place for all.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa

    • #17706
      Rosy
      Participant

      my sister, who had promised to help me if I left, seemed to be doing many similar things to my husband. I got worse over a few months until I couldn’t keep denying it was happening. She was basically trying to control everything I said, thought or when I ate. She pretended not to understand anything about any of my physical health conditions, which make my life very limited and difficult. I discussed it often with a councellor but every strategy they suggested, was exhausting and impossible to implement as she was adept at manipulating every situation and I was too traumatised from the years of my husbands abuse and too ill to spend every minute trying to stand up to her and stop the manipulation, when she was supposed to be supporting me. She’d even been ringing the rest of my family saying I didn’t want them to ring or visit me. I cut all contact with her on the advice of the WA helpline and though it’s been very hard with virtually no other contact from family, including my own daughters, I have gradually been able to realize how awfully she was behaving and how much better I feel not having to deal with it. She tried to get in touch last week, after 5 months, knowing that I’ve been struggling with basic things, acting as though nothing happened, as though she’d not let me down terribly and was continuing to. I will never understand or be able to forgive what she’s done.

      • #17746
        Lisa
        Main Moderator

        Hi Rosy,

        Thank you for your post and for sharing your experience with us. It must have been so upsetting to learn that your sister was also being controlling and manipulative, and to have to cut contact, but it sounds as though doing so was necessary and I’m pleased that you are starting to feel better. It is recent though, so it is understandable if it still feels raw. Healing from any abusive relationship, be it with a partner or a family member, takes time. During this time many survivors go through the difficult process of learning who out of their friends and family are positive people in their life, and who are not.

        It is so important to try to seek out the right support, whether it’s from positive friends, a counsellor or from other survivors here on the forum or through group programmes such as Freedom. Please remember you can still call the helpline if you would like to talk through how you are feeling.

        Keep posting,

        Lisa

    • #18019
      Eve1
      Participant

      I think what I’m experiencing belongs in this topic. I visited my parents yesterday as I’m trying to support my mum as much as possible. I’ve posted on here not long ago about my dad and some porn I or is on his laptop. For me, that just validated what I’ve realised about him being abusive.

      My mum is getting weaker and all I notice when I’m there is how controlling he is. She won’t acknowledge this, which is where it becomes so complicated. I do intend to ring her gp for a start, as much as anything so I feel I’m doing something, I’m just not sure what to say.

      It really affects me every time I see them. Last night I slept badly and today I just feel exhausted and angry. I’m angry that I didn’t realise and that my mum didn’t realise, or if she did could do nothing about it the fact that he didn’t care about her or us and that i still have to carry on as though what he does is ok. But I can’t just abandon my mum and I’m determined to trying to help. It’s very difficult.

      Eve
      x

    • #18050
      Peaceful Pig
      Participant

      Hi Eve,
      I can really relate to your feelings of responsibility towards your parents. Its such a difficult position to be in. Of course you want to help your mum, but she is an adult and must make her own choices. I’m concerned about the effect being around your dad and this situation is having on you and that it may well prevent your own healing. Sometimes someone has to swim to the shore to get help for the others. Please consider carefully your boundaries and then keep them as firmly as you can and stay safe x*x

    • #18103
      Eve1
      Participant

      HI Peaceful Pig,

      I think its very true that being around my Dad is not at all good for me. A couple of years ago I began to see them less as it just made me feel so bad. I’ve seen them every week for quite a while and that gets hard. I will still go and see them for Mum and I’ll try to find out what I can that will help her, but I may have to make it a bit less than once a week for a little bit. It’s too exhausting. I will think about boundaries. Thank you very much for your support. I’m sorry that you have gone through abuse from your parents. I read your post listing some of it. I didn’t reply, but you have had such terrible experiences. I hope you are doing ok. Thank you again.
      Eve
      x

    • #18949
      Kitty123
      Participant

      Hi there i’m new on this forum but wanted to share our story.

      i was married for (detail removed by moderator) years and with my partner for (detail removed by moderator) years altogether, there were warning signs in the beginning but being so young about 18/19 I didnt really think any thing of it. For instance he told me he was learning to drive and learning to fly a plane which was clearly a lie as I spent (detail removed by moderator) years being his personal taxi service on demand. He gambled away our first ever house deposit and cried and said he’d never do it again yet spent the first 2 years in our first house stealing my wages and spending all his on gambling, then crying and saying he wouldn’t do it again. I had to get up in the middle of the night and pick him up from work because he couldn’t get himself home, regardless that i had to get up for work in the morning, or i had to drive all the way across town to drop of a clean shirt for him.

      When we had children I still had to drive late at night and get the kids out of bed to do this. Gambling was a way of life for him and we had to put our money in a savings account with a book so we had to go to the bank and physically withdraw it to buy anything which was a pain but the only way forward to make sure the bills were paid.

      If i didn’t want to drive him to his brothers for poker or where ever he would first ignore me, then plead then say well I pay for the car so you can’t use it if you wont take me.

      After my second child i fell pregnant again and he didn’t want it, he said I had to have an abortion and I saw no option but to do as I was told, yet a year later he said it was a mistake and we should have had the baby – a bit late then. Later when my son was about (age removed by moderator) he said he wanted another baby so we tried and I fell pregnant and I said no matter what i’m keeping it so I have a younger daughter too.

      Things started to get worse and the first signs of physical abuse to my eldest daughter started around when she went to school, she didn’t want to go to school and the school say she was a trouble maker but I just think she wasn’t ready and they didn’t use positive words or actions to encourage her, it was all negative. My husband would shout at her and smack her and make her sit for upto an hour trying to get her to read a few pages of her book at just age 4/5. As the kids got older the punishments got worse. my son is 2 years younger than his sister he was shy and refused to speak to people till he was (age removed by moderator) and soiled himself from 3- 6 and his punishment was to sit on the loo if he messed himself, instead of it being used just for this reason it became a punishment if he didn’t do something his dad wanted up until the age of (detail removed by moderator) when we left. He wasn’t allowed to sort his own toiletting out as such he had to go when he was told. Sometimes being dragged by his hair or hit or kicked. Once he even smacked him on the forehead with a deodarant can and caused a huge lump, made me ring up and say he was ill so he couldn’t go to school and then on the monday put make up concealer to cover the bruise.

      My husband would use punishments for kids if their rooms were messy or they weren’t doing as they were told or they swore, they ranged from hitting, kicking, throwing things at them, trashing their rooms, pinching, hitting them with objects, shouting at them, threatening them, calling them names, wishing them dead. My eldest daughter by age (detail removed by moderator) was pulling her hair out and siting in the road trying to hurt herself or grabbing a knife to her throat, I didn’t see it as abuse at the time so i thought maybe she had ADHD or something. Their dad would also have play fights which he started they ranged from shoving shaving foam in the kids faces which for a long tome my youngest was scared off, and laughing then promising one child he wouldn’t cover them again if they helped get the other child so they were encouraged to gang up on the other child, it always ended in tears. Or he would have a physical fight with them and if one of them hurt him by accident he would pinch them really hard or hit them or push them off the bed and again it ended in tears. He would take a toy or sweets from one child and throw them in the other child’s room so that the first child would then go into the other child’s room and smash up their stuff while he stood laughing and saying he didn’t do anything.
      Or he would steal their little toys like lego men, gogo’s or squinkies and put them up his bottom and laugh and say they smell of his bum sweat then he would take them out and throw them at them and again it ended in tears and he would say its just a bit of fun while I had to wash the toys, and if he was feeling rather nasty he would stick his fingers up his bottom and wipe his sweat on them aswell. IT was digusttsing but he would always say ‘oh stop overreacting’

      His main reason for getting angry was he was tired, he was hungry, he had been at work and worked hard, he was stressed and didn’t need to hassle he got at home meaning kids leaving mess everywhere.

      There were times he would go into the kids rooms tell me to go away and shut the door and smack the kids, hold them down so they couldn’t breath or put his weight on them, then when they screamed he would put his hand over their mouths and tell them to shut up then say he hadn’t hit them, or drag them in the bathroom and make them drink liquid soap for swearing.

      My eldest is very outgoing and loud and doesn’t take to being shouted at easily so as she just before we left at age (detail removed by moderator) things started to get alot worse, she started self harming and he didn’t like this he wasn’t in control so they had more and more screaming matches and it got more physical. He would show off the kids to his mum and brother and nan who were more important than anyone and by the kids new clothes for a meal out for their birthday yet wouldn’t let them chose where they wanted to go even though he had asked them he would always consult his mum and they would chose somewhere, anyway he would tell my eldest she looked beautiful in her new dress then a few days later he would be screaming at her telling her she looked fat in it and would ripped it up and scream at her and throw things at her. a month before we left she cut herself with glass as she was so frustrated but just before she did this he had come into her room and put his hands behind his back said he couldn’t hit her and had spat at her 3 times, ripped her clothes up and wished her dead, then when she cut herself he rang his mum to moan she was pulling the family apart. Over the coming weeks he started to say he couldn’t live like this anymore and wanted to move out and demanded I look for a flat for him, when i did he said they were all rubbish and he wanted something nice, then he demanded that as i would be a single parent and get all the benefits I should give him £200 a month of it to help him and at this point i was scared and said yes to whatever.

      Then on the weekend before we left my eldest went in my draw and took the £5 her nan my mum had given to her for easter and he went ballistic and called her a dirty thief then attacked her and ripped big clumps of hair out of her head it was terrifying, i was screaming, my son was shouting, my youngest was screaming and crying and his anger was getting to boiling point and i didn’t know what he was capable of. Then on that fateful (detail removed by moderator) morning just 2 days later he rang me while walking to work saying he been talking to his mum and decided he wasn’t going anywhere, I could leave with my eldest I said I would parent her and he said good luck the way you do things she’ll be pregnant soon, and i said what about our bed how can we share if we aren’t getting on and he basically said I good go live in the shed. He said I wasn’t take kids anywhere not that I had said so and he loved me and would speak later and i wouldn’t want to throw away a (detail removed by moderator) year relationship.

      I text my friend all this conversation and before I knew it she had reported him to a child protection officer and i was phoned and told to get out now so I packed a few clothes and toys and left, got kids from school when they finished and youngest from nursery and went to my friends house for 2 days hold up there then we moved to a refuge and that was (detail removed by moderator) months ago.

      My Eldest has since been treated through cahms for PTSD as she tried to hang herself last October. But is doing really well now, My son is due to have a DV worker come round and do some one to one work with him as for awhile he was very controlling and was hitting and kicking me and my youngest tells people what her dad did to her big sister. while in refuge he took me to court for joint custody as he believed I was the nasty one for walking away and taking his children although I never once spoke to him since the day I left as advised by police. SS were called and a section 7, 37 and the police did a section 47 child abuse investigation and a judge on recommendation of Caffcas granted prohibited steps order preventing him from ever entering the county we are in (he doesn’t know exactly where we live just the county). The Judge at county court granted indirect contact even though SS said no contact ever. But he has no address to send anything to. kids are happy and thriving and safe now which is all that matters

      but it’s been a long scary journey and I am now divorced from him too.

      anyway thats our story sorry it was long

    • #18950
      Kitty123
      Participant

      forgot to say he always belittled me and said he job was more important and i as useless and he earnt more money so could spend more meaning waste more on gambling. He said I didnt need to get a ob when youngest was born then when he got a new job pressured me and when i didn’t get thing s like a cleaning job he would say im so useless can’t even get a cleaning job then when i found a job working evenings he refused to let me have a babysitter for the overlap in him getting home said kids were adults and made me leave them or upto 45 minutes alone when i went to work and even refused help from my friend who offered to take youngest as he didn’t drive and didn’t want to walk there.

      everything was money orientated and the only thing he really cared about to fuel is gambling habit.

      He would also give me mixed messages about my mum saying she was horrible and couldn’t be bothered to visit kids even though she lived some 5 hours away and then would say oh shes kind for giving kids money but then moan because she hadn’t made an effort. Then would demand I ring my dad and get him to take kids out during summer holiday to a theme park as he never does anything even though both my parents work and his never did.

      I later found out my mum and step dad didn’t visit because they didn’t like him or his family.

      and i later found out he had been hurting them kids when i had been at work and threatened them to keep their mouths shut and say everything was fine

      our life was a nightmare now i come to think of it but now its more fun and relaxed

    • #18963
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hello,

      Sounds like you and your children have been through a lot. I am glad to hear you have left the situation and are doing really well. Your perpetrator sounded like a very poisonous existence in your life and very cruel.

      It is amazing what you have survived and I’m sure you can share your wisdom with the other amazing survivors on this forum

      take care and keep posting

      Best Wishes

      Lisa

    • #26298
      dreamshaker
      Participant

      Hi,

      Never told a soul, and not sure if I should be now.

      I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by both my parents, from a young age, to now, ( it’s now just mentally by parent), but physically, sexually by ex husband,

      But when, only once I tried to tell, I just got told that medication will help, but declined, and tried again to push it to the back of my mind, it’s scary, but reassuring it’s not just me.

    • #26302
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi dreamshaker, well done for speaking out. I kept silent for decades. Abusers thrive on silence. I think you were very unlucky as I was once many years ago I tried to tell a professional and they minimised it and by doing that I felt it was all normal behaviour. It really helps to share. Maybe you could try your GP as I think there is much more awareness. Women’s Aid are fantastic.

    • #26303
      KIP.
      Participant

      My problems started after I spoke up and my husband was arrested. Then came a huge amount of victim blaming from my son and step daughter. How I destroyed our family and made things difficult! I couldn’t believe it. They both witnessed some of the abuse and especially my son the one his dad was arrested for but somehow the blame was laid at my door.
      Victim blaming is hugely under reported and can be devastating, especially when they take the abusers side X abuse wrecks families but victim blaming destroys them even more X rubbing salt in an already gaping wound x

    • #26307
      dreamshaker
      Participant

      I too have kept silent for decades, as I at a young age, tried reaching out to my mum, as my father was sexually abusing me, and sadly my mother was already aware, And back then, awareness and belief isn’t like today, and one evening I begged my father to stop, and he did, However he left the house and committed suicide.
      My mother blamed me, and so continued to invite strangers to her young daughters bedroom, and I kept quiet, never asked or told my secret.
      My GP I confided in only recently, due to my abusive husband, and was so humiliating and terrifying, as I told my secret, and at my age, I feel guilty.

    • #26652
      Squiggly Lines
      Participant

      I would like to start by saying that I am far from perfect. I have a multitude of mistakes that I wish I could put right. I’ve done things that I am ashamed of and would never do again. I’d like to think I learn and am not a terrible person although that can be disputed).

      I think I’ve been gaslighted for the last (detail removed by Moderator) or so by a parent, and scapegoated for at least (detail removed by Moderator) to the point that I am the black sheep, the only one with problems.

      From an early age, I learned that it is best to keep quiet, do as I’m told and study my socks off. If any of my siblings or I disagreed too tough, we’d be in for a punishment. We had strict rules, culturally and religiously, but there were things that just seemed disproportionate.

      One of my parents used to threaten my brothers at knife point when the verbal abuse stopped working as a method of control. They would get thrown out for getting bad grades. Friends weren’t allowed and definitely not girl/boy friends, certain people were “evil” (even children), there was no life outside of family or religion. I was privileged because I “didn’t get beaten enough”, as my siblings say.

      Even now as an adult, I am not beyond punishment. I’ve had been threatened to have my teeth smashed out, screamed at for hours, labelled “abusive” and a “head case”, I’ve been physically thrown around, I’ve been threatened with being sectioned, ostracized, frozen out and punished with silent treatment. I’ve been called all manner of vicious and nasty names and discriminated against with double standards, then asked “Why aren’t you talking to me? Are you still upset? Why do you hold grudges? It’s not good for you, it’ll make you ugly.” literally within 20 minutes of being reduced to a quivering wreck. Some days I’m too fuzzy to even remember how it started. Every interaction or act of kindness is double-loaded. At some point it will be used to say “See, if I wasn’t a good parent would I have done this or that?” From the outsiders point of view, I couldn’t have more supportive family.

      I asked other family for help but I’m told I’m a liar and over-sensitive, how could they be wrong? Why am I getting worked up over something so small? I was mistaken in the first place. How could a parent do or say such things? Why am I over reacting? “You’ve got to try harder, you have fix what you’re doing.” They are all rationalized and justified and explained away in a way that they weren’t actually said to me. My secrets, fears are shames are used against me to threaten and force me into complying with their wants.

      I experienced a different type of abuse in a relationship and turned to my family for support. But I got a lot of blame and shame and again, I was the liar. Things that had nothing to do with me suddenly became my fault because I acted out. I got so depressed. I was a bad person, I was a fantasist, I make problems wherever I go. I started cutting off from friends to save them the problem of myself. My depression and anxiety are sky high. I can never be sure of what my intentions are and I constantly look to myself whenever anything goes wrong.

      I am now terrified of life and my place in it. Now with no friends, no family, no money, no self confidence and rock bottom self esteem, I’m starting a new life – going no contact with family. I feel woefully under prepared for whats ahead of me and have a lot to learn and it scares me.

    • #26669
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Hi, Squiggly Lines, welcome here.
      I am glad you made the cut and went zero contact. You have been through an awful lot. Your story reminds me of my own childhood.
      Abuse from parents is the worst.
      Life away from an abusive family is so much better.
      Be careful who you let into your life because after that you are very vulnerable for predators. Rather seek support from organisations, such as ‘Mind’, or feminist groups who do events. You are safer there than in the big wide open. I speak from experience.
      Can you get counselling? Ask your GP to refer you. There are organisations for survivors of childhood abuse. Get in touch with them.
      Keep posting! We are all here for you! x*x

      • #26760
        Squiggly Lines
        Participant

        Hi Ayanna,

        Thank you for your reply.

        I’m glad you’ve found life away from the family is best for you, and the support groups too. Thank you, I will look into support groups – I do feel rather exposed and vulnerable right now. I have tried to explain how I’m feeling right now to my GP and being referred.

        Thank you x

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