Family making me upset

[teatime]

My partner is lovely but his family are just awful.
We stick together but I find some of them spiteful, particularly his sibling.
We were prevented from having a really good new start in a family owned place partly because his sibling said it was unfair and that he should live there with my partner…he really kicked off at my partner and upset him.My partner is a very sweet person with no guile, quite wise in terms of emotional awareness and very caring. This was horrible for him. His family always seem to be criticising him. His parent offered us somewhere to live, come down they said and measure up. When we got there they spent a lot of time telling us both off for being poor( I am disabled), and then said they would not rent to us.
I was heartbroken because I would have been near my Mum. (Detail removed by moderator). I know he is unwell but it really was a totally weird horrible situation.I just decided they were totally mad, but I don’t want to see them again.
I also suspect brother of being highly jealous ad manipulative. It’s given me the total creeps and made me paranoid. I always thought this was a nice guy and a friend to us.
I do find his family TOTALLY dysfunctional; grandparent is cared for mentally ill unbalanced grown up child, cold and distant step parent, nagging parent and a manipulative, hedonistic bad tempered sibling.

It has totally done my head in. We have always helped these folk and now it’s our hour of need they turn all toxic and horrible. I love my partner but this will come between us and I don’t want it to.
I wish I could get away from toxic people… or believe that some people I know are good at least.
It’s nearly christmas and my partner has not dealt with any of this, and I certainly can’t. I’ve said I do not want to see his brother, I can’t stand him now.
I really want us to be happy but I am very angry and hurt.

[everythingwillworkout]

Hi Teatime,

I’m really sorry 💕, they sound horrible! Is it possible to go limited contact? I only see my parents a couple of times a year, and don’t call them or pick UK their calls. They used to complain but now they have learnt that it makes no difference. Sometimes my mum sends me a controlling email, but I just ignore it and say I’ve been busy working. Sometimes she went resend it two or theee times (always something manipulative), but I just ignore it.

If you and your husband don’t go low contact l then they will just keep abusing and manipulating you. And you both deserve better. Have you discussed this with him? And the massive impact it’s having on you?

[teatime]

I have decided not to see them very often and that seems to suit me well. I feel sorry for my partner because he would like me to like them…but he does not disagree with me about their behaviour.

[EbonyRaven]

I hope you and your partner are able to work through this together, and find some way of dealing with it that suits you both. x

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