27th November 2018 at 10:51 pm #67781NewWingsParticipant
Hi I suppose I could answer this for myself, my ex poisoned them against me for years. They believe I have a drink problem am physically abusive and an have an evil viscious tongue. So why have I been allowed to return to a job where I am vetted and have allowed full access to my medical notes? The smear campaign of my ex has been thorough, he even told his brother I gave him a black eye (detail removed by moderator). The hilarious thing is that he is as fit as a flea whereas I am a good deal older and have had my hip replaced. So now I’m an excellent boxer too. I decided earlier this year to have nothing more to do with my sister who has run around spreading his lies throughout the family. She pretended that she cared but her actions betrayed her. It was my birthday recently and she sent a card stupidly I opened it I was shocked the image was of a woman very much the worse for wear makeup smeared etc. The motto was don’t drink before you apply makeup Happy Birthday. I was appalled and tore it up. What kind of person would bother to send a card like that. My sister has gloated over my loss of my children and estrangement within the family. How can they believe the terrible lies? He got his story in first and there you have it. This Christmas would have been spent on my own my mother let me know months ago she would be spending it with my sister, so I have made other plans. Isn’t it interesting how abusive men can shine a light on our own families dysfunction. My mother has always been abusive both physically and mentally. We can chose our friends thank god. Stay strong all you wonderful women.
27th November 2018 at 11:04 pm #67782IwantmebackParticipant
Hi New wings, you hit the nail on the head, he got his story in first. Doesn’t matter you’re family, people always believe the negative stories even though they would have known the person for years. My oh is built like the proverbial brick house and is a good head and shoulders above me. Yet he says i hit him. 🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Your sister is a right one, that’s a terrible card to pick, though i bet she’d have turned it around and said cant you take a joke. Im glad you’ve organised Christmas for you rather than let them upset you. Good for you👏👏
27th November 2018 at 11:27 pm #67785NewWingsParticipant
Thanks for your reply my ex too is a good 4ins taller than me. I have always been suspicious of people who try to tell me nasty stories about others there is generally an agenda. I realise now my sister always had her own agenda to make herself the most important sibling,she has had little good to say about myself or my brother. Or the people she worked with they were always the nasty ones. She and my ex are well matched and very covert. How else could he have charmed me. And as you so rightly say when you pick them up on a nasty remark you’re told you’re too sensitive. I must say at times I’ve retaliated but hated myself afterwards. My sister and mother even went round to see my only ally no doubt to enlighten them. Luckily they weren’t well and wasn’t up for a visit. The irony is my mother is jealous of this relationship and yet has made it plain to me she supports my ex. Yep people are far too quick to believe the lies of others but then maybe it suits them too? Lazy thinking perhaps but I don’t think so. Bullies are all the same,in my line of work I see how they operate and they always get their story in first but it always deviates. We’re strong we’ve had to be, as I’ve said before Warriors aswell as survivors.:-)
29th January 2019 at 3:34 pm #71520SilverfoxParticipant
I hope you build strength from the inside out to get throught all what is going on. I havn’t left my hubby yet but I am hoping to by (detail removed by moderator). My eyes were opened when i lost pver 8 stone. (Detail removed by moderator). My health has changed for the better. On the outside i looked happy. But reality hit me when i seen a tv message about Domestic Abuse. it was like a fog had lifted from me eyes! I have had 3 main Domestice abusers in my life adn didn’t realise it until that ad…… It makes me shiver to think of all i have let them get away with but when i leave my hibby and family will have no control thank goodness!!! My older sister and mother use the children too in the situation. my husband thinks i have had an affair just because (detail removed by moderator).
29th January 2019 at 4:02 pm #71525freedomtochooseParticipant
Sounds like you are doing ever so well. IF it is any consolation your post strengthened and helped me as I have had to say goodbye to my birth family for similar reasons.
all best and thanks for posting
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