Fathers Day

[Bubblegum]

As were all aware today in the U.K. Is Fargers day .First year my kids won’t be seeing there father .Due to no contact on my behalf .Due to my Ex husbands behaviour Were when we did split up few years ago tried everything so he could see his kids but he never learnt .As a mum after so many chances could see his behaviour effecting kids .So today will be making most of this lovely weather in the garden it will be fun but peaceful as well .There is still a small part of me still feels sad because situation .As moment he still lives nearby .No doubt he’ll vent his side story social media how he can’t see his kids etc etc .No doubt his new pregnant partner will jump bang wagon to say they’ll get to sort things out do he can see his kids etc .I know Ive really tried mum but still annoys me how flying monkeys have not got a clue .My Ex has now got to go correct route seeing his kids .Something he has not done in years at moment my gut is saying he won’t anyway .He is to busy getting new. Girlfriend pregnant and now talking marriage .Only known each other since(detail removed by Moderator) .Sorry ladies for my rant .Enjoy your day ladies as most of us are doing the job of mum as well as Dad.Its just another day and it will pass like everything else x*x

[older lady]

Hello, Bubblegum. For a long time I’ve felt that mother’s day and father’s day has no relevance for me and my daughter. Becoming a mother with an abusive man has felt like a trap, and I don’t want to celebrate the trap. As far as father’s day is concerned, my daughter didn’t even want to send her father a card. I sent him one, and wrote it in my left hand so he would look at the handwriting and think she wrote it (sent because I don’t want his rage at the end of a phone, a pacifying act). I often think how because of domestic abuse all these little celebrations throughout the year, birthdays, christmas and so on become a great source of stress. My family can’t fit into the normal family pattern. Its meant looking at a lot of things differently and as an outsider. Just like you have described, my daughter’s father enjoys his life at his side. He’s going out, having holidays, socialising, he’ll tell people what he wants them to think. There are so many people involved in domestic abuse!! Its not just the perpetrator and the victim, its all the flying monkeys too…!! The woman and child carry the pressure of all of that. Its why we have to acknowledge how strong we are to survive it. xx

[Serenity]

Hi Bubblegum,

I know on social media, a lot of young people who have been raised by single mums thank their mothers on Father’s Day for being both mum and dad to them!

I hope you will pat yourself on the back for being both too, put your feet up, soak up the sun and maybe enjoy a G&T on ice (or mocktail if you don’t want alcohol!).

Meanwhile, my youngest has gone to see his dad, even though he wasn’t due to go. My ex expected – or hoped- I would kick up a fuss and so look bad, but I’m not so petty. My child isn’t going to get stuck in the middle of some battle. I just hope my ex treats him well today. He doesn’t deserve it to be celebrated, but in his mind he does.

[Nina]

My daughter who’s only little made her brother a Bothers Day card at school. He’s a few years older than her but they are so close. It made me really sad but they were really happy and she made him breakfast in bed.
This is how life is now, its just not how I ever expected it to be x

[Author]

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