9th June 2016 at 5:30 pm #18850HerindoorsParticipant
The first one after we broke up was last years. I got an abusive message saying that I should have bought our child a card and made her give it to him. Sigh.
This year our child just mentioned the other night that it was coming and she felt bad. I asked her what she wanted to do about it. She said nothing, she didn’t want to send him a card but she felt bad because she knew he would be upset.
Wonder what abusive message I will get this year for not ‘making’ her ? (not that I care)
The mind of an abuser = because I am not making our child reach out to him I am causing parental alienation apparently. I should be hasseling her, making her, pushing her to contact him.
Mind of a decent father = make the first move, take responsibility, apologise, reassure, prove he can be ‘normal’ with her.
Take care all x*x
9th June 2016 at 7:38 pm #18858godschildParticipant
I remember my son now grown up saying when he lived at home that he felt he could not say the truth to his dad about anything as he would be upset, these abusers cause the children to have a mindset that they cant upset them. Its good your little one has made her own choice but important to teach her that just because someone may be upset does not mean that you have to do as they want or say, otherwise I fear it is setting them up to feel afraid of doing what they feel is right. No matter what you do you will be wrong in his eyes xx
9th June 2016 at 8:25 pm #18862Confused123Participant
ISnt it weird how we can feel aqward around f day and think how it makes our kids feel, I just ask my kids did they want to send a card, they said willjust send a voice recording message. I think its best just to do whatever kids want, as u said they will prob just blame us anyway
10th June 2016 at 9:56 pm #18914SerenityParticipant
My ex used to say I should encourage my children to see him.
What, lure them to abuse, deny them choice?
These abusers want to monopolise everything, make us into puppets and eradicate our choice.
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