Fed up

[anotherlife]

We are having our last try at staying together (last I hope!!!!!) and he had promised to try to be more patient with the kids, talk to them about any issues instead of having a go at then, be more patient, try to deal with his anger issues etc. It’s a longer story than that but we went out yesterday together (v rare occurrence). I hoped a chance to talk but as usual he was doing the talking or looking on his phone). I know he’s stressed with work but he seems so self absorbed all the time.
He’s back to having a go at then today, I think because he is stressed. Making a teenage boy cry wouldn’t make me feel good so why does he do it?! I couldn’t say much at the time due to where we were and I’m a way his reasons were right but his whole going about explaining it was completely wrong! It’s bullying again!
He said recently he would do anything for me but it’s just words. I don’t think he can see further than his own reasons & self.
Sorry, this is just a since as I feel I need to get it out. I’ve got reasons to be v careful as I have no money or job (only because I was made redundant & have health issues).
I honestly was fooled by his promises. I didn’t want to try again but felt I had to. Now I feel like a fool. But it really is hard to try to go through with decisions like that.

[anotherlife]

Didn’t last long…….!
Now to start planning & looking harder for help, as this is all just a waste of time! Never cgsnges!

[Chickadee]

Hi Anotherlife. It sounds like your ready to get out. Mine would yell at the kids and have them in tears. Then would tell them to suck it up. He name calls, belittles/puts them down. When he escalated to getting physical with us I got us out.
A National Abuse Hotline or Abuse Shelter/Reso rce Center should be able to help you.

[freedomtochoose]

Hello hon,
Several years after getting out I had a sad moment yesterday due to the losses experienced.
My child said ‘we are much better off now mum’.
Says it all.
That will be you before too long.
Big hugs
ftc
x

[anotherlife]

Thanks ladies. He was trying (detail removed by moderator) taking us on a nice but v long day out. Part of our problem lately is that the kids are often squabbling & don’t do as I tell them – I no longer have the emotional strength to keep going or to be stronger with them, which is why I think they don’t take any notice anymore. My son’s lovely but (detail removed by moderator) & my daughter has always been a bit strong minded.
So he had a go at my son on (detail removed by moderator), which I think he had gone way over the top with & upset me. (Detail removed by moderator). Long ride home, no talking, me really fed up & not wanting to be around him, as one of the things he was meant to be doing was trying to control his temper & talk to them about problems instead of getting angry.
I know I shouldn’t let this get in our way but it makes me not like him as I feel he’s often having a go at one of them but far too harshly & I worry what it will do to my son as he grows up.
(Detail removed by moderator). I just feel like sitting in a corner & crying. I can’t win no matter what happens & I feel like we’re all falling apart. I think he has a completely different view of how we should be, he’s glued to his work & I honestly think he thinks more of his job than his family. I think I would panic of we finally came to an end but I really don’t want us to go on. I’m trying to find a job and have an interview (detail removed by moderator), he’s not remotely interested. I don’t feel I’m going to do very well feeling like this.
Sorry for the winge, this is the only safe space I have to unload. There are many worse things to our relationship but these are getting to me right now. Another beautiful & miserable day….

[Author]

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