Fed up

[Merryweather]

I got out of a horrible relationship over (detail removed by moderator) now, and because we have a child together he’s still constantly trying to control me, making lies and now to the point he’s denying the things he did to me. Does it ever end?? Feel so fed up with it all at the moment and can’t see no light at the end of the tunnel, now at the point where I feel like I should just move away to get away from him 😢

[banks]

hi Merryweather how are you today? Can you move away like you said at the end of your post?
Sending hugs your way, let me know how are you feeling x

[Imfree]

just wanted to say your not alone, I feel the same.

its like your free from the imminent and constant abuse but still having abuse in other forms usally via the children!

[Merryweather]

Hi Banks,

I’m a lot better now, it’s always sporadic this controlling behaviour from him. I wish I could move away, all my family and friends are here and if I do it i’ll Have to start again, discussed with my partner if he would move with me says he will but I can just see he wouldn’t want to. Just feels like I signed up for a life sentence of hell when all I ever did was love and support him, all the things he did to me he’s turning them round as though I am an abuser I feel like i’m going nuts some days xx

[Merryweather]

Hi Imfree

That’s exactly how I feel, I wake up most every day and am so grateful that my life is settled and stable, then there’s him in the background, just won’t back off. Any opportunity to cause an issue, I have his number blocked and when I see that witheld number call on my phone it’s like anxiety takes over and i know what’s coming. He knows what he did to me, and it’s like he’s hell bent on punishing me for leaving him. Frustrating. I feel like he should be supportive that I came out of it all ok and am providing a good life for our child, but it’s the complete opposite. He’s even said he’s going to destroy my life 😞 xx

[KIP.]

Hi there, abusers are nasty jealous dysfunctional controlling people. While you have any contact with him your mental health will suffer. Can you contact your local women’s aid for support. I would recommend getting a contact order in place and only seeing him at handover or better still get a third party to deal with him. Ring Rights for Women for free legal advice. Zero contact is the only way forwards. They are liars so don’t make the mistake of ever thinking he will be reasonable. Take him out the equation all together. Have you had counselling. I would strongly advise good counselling to help with your anxiety x

[BlueGray]

I am kinda in the same boat.
Background agro usually via children.
In so many months we have gone from some contact to just email now, I am just in process of quitting this too. He’s turned all of the abuse o it’s head and is claiming via social media that he is the victim and I’m the bully.

Please try and be reassure that those who know you will know no smoke without fire and those that aid the abuser are not the kinda people you need in your life.

I don’t think moving makes much difference, consider yourself in it and whether it will place you isolated.

I’ve had some good few months but have hit rock bottom this week, can’t get my self motivated and have just fainted at work. This has never happened before.
I’m just rambling now, was trying to be supportive. Hope you feel a bit brighter soon.
I guess it’s ok to feel rubbish, it’s processing it all.

[Author]

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