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    • #130689

      I’m over a year since he was arrested at our house. It’s been a tough time, further incidents, several breaches of non molestation order etc. He’s still not accepted our marriage is over, I truly believe he’s mad. I’ve had v good support from local charity, recently been appointed an Isva and due to have trauma counseling. Due to finalise my divorce, all paid by me, heis living in a hostel I believe but ignored all legal communication. I’m struggling more now than 6 months ago. Still have to go court for (removed by moderator). Just sick off it. Still have his property here although not in house, can’t get rid as will be taken off settlement. Can’t go places I want as he might be there. On top of losing a parent this year it’s too much. Why am I feeling worse. Don’t want to socialise, going through motions of life but really feels fake. I see people my age happy, out, holidaying etc. I’m ok financially , just , but won’t be after the settlement. Early retirement now not an option. Apologies, just feeling fed up, sorry for myself and still struggling to accept my ex is looking at a potential prison sentence for what he’s done. I feel lonely too, have good friends, good kids , adult, but it’s not the same . No shared history etc.
      Is this normal ?

    • #130694

      Sending a hug, your way, I just came on the forum to say something similar, so have no words of wisdom. I am also feeling pretty low, and seem unable to force that smile this last few days. Lonely too. Missing the shared history, not with him so much, but with friends I also realised were like him, or liked him. Hopefully someone will be along soon to share wisdom, just wanted to say, you’re not alone. xx

    • #130696

      Hi ladies,

      My heart goes out to ye both, where you are at in your respective healing journeys I’d a very painful, but sadly necessary stage in the recovery process. There is so much sadness and grief to process when we leave. It was at about 6 months out that it really hit me too. My counsellor explained that the despair stage is normal, expected, and will pass. In my case that has 100% been true. I’ve been stronger after than I ever was before in my life. Now, even when the dark days or bad things happen, I know can get through it and I have the tools to help myself.

      Be very very gentle with yourselves. Sometimes just getting through the day takes bravery and strength. Try to eat well, sleep as much much as you can, cry as much as you need to, and reach out for support. A walk in nature always helped to ground me too. This will pass. I have so much joy and pleasure in my life now, you will too.

      A quote that helped me through this time was “Perhaps the darkness of the tomb is the darkness of the womb. You are waiting to be reborn”.

      Another is “imagine if rather than being buried, you have been planted. When the time is right you will bloom anew”.

      Sending love and light x*x

    • #130719

      Thank you x

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