This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  maddog 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

  • Author
  • #85472
     just breathing 

    Sorry I know there are lots of people worse off but it has not stopped today since the waking moment. Just having a go at me and criticizing me in front of children, setting me up saying do what you want then instpecting and criticizing. Telling lies about me and saying allsort that is not true. he has recruited my daughter who is giving me a hard time laughing and saying no to everything and saying Im crazy because i do everything wrong. He has rewarded her with new clothes and a shopping trip tomorrow so she is just laughing at me. I stayed for the childrne as it has been like this for so long.
    But Im now sat on my bed (in the spare room) just feeling like such rubbish. He has just said Ive been stomping round being difficult when I have been putting ironing away.
    Im so lost

  • #85481

    I’m sorry you’re having to put up with this, and that he’s manipulating the children and using them to triangulate.

    Can you use the ‘grey rock’ technique? Just give yes, no answers to questions if you have to, and keep talking/contact to an absolute minimum. Try not to show a reaction to his nonsense. It can help you to deal with it and diminish it a little.

  • #85539

    You are not alone. This kind of behaviour is normal for abusers. Do your best to keep records of your interactions with him. Sadly abusers know no other way to behave. My ex too used the children as weapons against me. Please start getting real life support to help you through this. Do you have help from Women’s Aid? If your children are school age it is important to let the school know. They may be able to provide extra support for them. Your GP will also listen. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are a witness to the appalling behaviour of someone else.

    Really try not to engage with this behaviour as it will bring you down. You are being used in the same way that someone might use a wooden spoon or a lawnmower. Abusers see the world differently and nothing we say or do will change it.

    Please don’t minimise your experience. It’s always easy to think others have it far worse. It is hard to comprehend why someone would seek to destroy another person.

    Keep going and keep reaching out.

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